IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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There is no doubt that any form of workout is important during the day. Economic developments affected
people
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's routines,
people
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 were transported by
bicycles
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 all day. Nowadays is almost never see a
bicycle
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 in the street.
This
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 can affect
people
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 in many ways , especially their health.
Moreover
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, using a
bicycle
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 from home to work every day is not impossible in many cities.
Firstly
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,
people
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 start to earn a good amount of salary that can let them buy a car.
Furthermore
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, Using cars will raise air pollution by increasing the levels of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.
Secondly
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, the weather in a lot of places does not help outdoor transportation
due to
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 high-temperature degrees or snow falling.
However
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, there are a lot of
people
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 who want to still
use
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bicycles
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 as their transportation way.
However
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, there is no encouragement action from the governments regarding
bicycle
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use
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.
For example
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, no specific parking for
bicycles
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 in public places, and no
bicycle
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 space on the road. which puts the
bicycle
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 riders in danger.
In other words
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, the governments should make the road and the surrendering environment more suitable for
bicycle
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 raiders to encourage more healthy transportation ways. In conclusion, it is evident that less
use
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 of
bicycles
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 as a form of transport is an important topic. Encouraging using
bicycles
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 is possible by a simple action. The governments must ensure steps are taken to encourage
people
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 to
use
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bicycles
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 as their form of transport more often in future. I believe
bicycles
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 are a healthy way to transport.

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task achievement
The essay identifies the decreased usage of bicycles and proposes solutions. However, some points could be elaborated further, and specific examples are somewhat lacking.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking up longer sentences to improve readability. Also, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain a flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic well and concludes with a summary and a suggestion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Relevant points are made regarding the reasons for the decline in bicycle usage and potential solutions.
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