In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Market share is one of the most significant key indicators in a company, as it makes revenue.
Subsequently
,
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
department does various marketing approaches to attract potential customers or to introduce their
products
to society.
Nevertheless
, it has been a hot contention, whether existing advertising techniques remain effective in drawing buyers or the other way around. In
this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and describe my personal opinion on the matter. On the first side, the proponents, who support existing advertising methods, believe that it is frequently working to persuade customers. Their notion was based on the significant - selling number from multiple - companies, which are fostering conventional branding procedures.
For instance
, a large number of food and beverage start-ups in the shopping mall utilize conventional posters to attract people who walk around.
As a result
, plenty of individuals come to purchase their
products
or at least look at the food's menu. On the other side, the opposite group think that an upgrade of the conventional way is important
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since a lot of enterprises foster a similar shift.
Consequently
, people are prone to neglect it.
Therefore
, an eye-catching or fascinating advertisement will be feasible to persuade customer interest. Recently, many smart or modern marketing advancements have been utilized. To exemplify, a silent- marketing technique has been ubiquitous in the
last
three months in Indonesia. The companies collaborated with renowned artists, who will act like they consume the client's
products
regularly. Surprisingly,
although
they never aggressively mention the
products
, customer,
finally
buy their affiliate
products
.
To sum up
,
while
ordinary branding methods are still working, I wholeheartedly believe that the marketing team should invent creative shifts to boost sales. Combining ordinary and modern approaches could encompass more market share.
Submitted by epindonta02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, aim to avoid repetitive phrasing and ensure each idea flows smoothly into the next. Linking words and phrases can help facilitate this.
task achievement
Further develop the use of specific examples. While the poster and silent-marketing examples are good, they need more depth to fully illustrate the points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all supporting points directly relate to it. This will improve both coherence and task achievement.
language
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the essay's overall quality.
coherence cohesion
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument and presents a balanced view, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • idling vehicles
  • greenhouse gases
  • urban sprawl
  • road rage
  • leisure activities
  • economic consequences
  • productivity
  • public transportation
  • emissions
  • quality of life
  • fuel consumption
  • environmental damage
  • stress and anxiety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: