Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

A number of individuals believe that
new
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a new
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style of communication is compulsory for
better
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a better
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career ,
while
others think that it is beneficial for other purposes.
Although
seeking
the
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apply
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different
mode
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modes
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of accents
provide
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provides
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several chances for job applicants and
impart
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imparts
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a bright lifestyle, I opine that it has a crucial impact
to enhance
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on enhancing
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self-exposure and seems like a connector between diverse traditions. To commence with, one of the primary aspects is that it encourages the folks to stable their
life style
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lifestyle
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in non-native areas dispenses the vacancy with high and decent amount of salary, like a majority of students learn novel expression for the sake of their strong connection in workplace
otherwise
they have to face difficulty.
However
, extensive familiarity towards external businessmen would make
higher
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a higher
show examples
rate
to
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of
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promote
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promotion
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for the excellent post.
Thus
, leading research in America has shown that scholars are keen to get
such
discourses by joining learning institutes for the matter of their
long
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long-lasting
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last
prosperity.
On the other hand
,
this
innovation is a vital platform to determine
the
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apply
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personal growth deeply through making new ideas like the majority of businesses are operating by analyzing the abroad organizations' strategies,
the
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and the
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consequences of greater decision
maker
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makers
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.
Moreover
, people from various
background
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backgrounds
show examples
look interesting and curious to know each other's heritage and country's speciality.
For instance
, tourists all
round
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around
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the world have exhilarating experiences but still have issues of consideration just because of unfamiliarity
the
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with the
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expressive way. In conclusion, despite the fact that younger avail moments for speaking terminologies to achieve hard cash and
long term
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long-term
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lofty goals, I moot that it
also
constructs a person with mindful thoughts and a window which
create
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creates
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the
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apply
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inter-border bonding by exchanging
informations
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information
pieces of information
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.
Submitted by iqrariaz54 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a solid structure to follow. However, try to work on making the logical structure clearer. Presenting ideas in a more systematic way with clear topic sentences for each paragraph can help you better communicate your thoughts.
Task Achievement
The main points you've addressed are relevant to the topic, but they could be more explicitly linked to the question. You could improve this by clearly outlining the reasons and offering a more balanced discussion of both views. Try to provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
Language Use
Aim to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary. Also, pay attention to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. These small improvements can make your essay clearer and more professional.
Task Achievement
You have made a clear effort to address both views presented in the question, which is great!
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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