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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the past, lectures were used as a way of teaching large numbers of student, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending lectures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, there has been a widespread controversy about attending lectures. Some people think it's a necessity,
while
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 others believe that
with
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in
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 our rapidly evolving world, technology has become the source of education rather than attending a classroom. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and give my own thoughts. On the one hand, advancement in technology has taken a major place in education,
students
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 can study through phones, tablets, and computers.
Therefore
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,
students
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 can have various ways of accessing information and learning methods through technical devices.
For instance
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, a history student can effortlessly explore primary sources,
such
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 as letters, diaries, and official documents, without having to physically visit multiple archives or libraries.
Additionally
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, using devices in learning develops global connectivity that enables
students
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 to study better and more comprehensively in all aspects of their subjects. To illustrate, if a Korean student wants to learn the English language,
then
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 American TV shows and news channels are a great source of learning, and without advanced devices, it would not be possible.
On the other hand
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, attending the classroom improves understanding of the lessons.
This
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 is because when pupils get to have real-time interactions with the professor and peers, it enhances understanding through immediate feedback and discussion.
For example
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, there's a technique called think-pair-share.
Students
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 think of the question individually,
then
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 pair up to discuss their thoughts and
finally
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 share their conclusion with the class.
This
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 encourages active participation and deeper understanding.
Also
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, the lecture room helps pupils maintain focus.
This
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 is because classrooms are specifically designed for learning. With minimal distractions,
this
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 type of space prepares
students
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 to focus in the lecture room. For illustration, in a recent study, many
students
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 found it easier to concentrate and stay focused during in-person lectures compared to online sessions. In conclusion, I firmly believe that both methods of learning are beneficial, so
that
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apply
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for one, you can benefit from the knowledge from various sources that technology provides, and for the other, it helps you understand better by having real interaction in the classroom.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by presenting both views clearly. It might be even stronger if you provided a hint of your overall position at the beginning as well.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument thoroughly. To enhance the sophistication, consider adding a little more depth or examples that reflect on how these methods could complement each other.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with distinct paragraphs for each point. To further improve, you might want to consider using more transitional phrases to ensure an even smoother flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
You maintained good coherence within paragraphs, and the essay as a whole is cohesive. Introducing more varied linking words or phrases would add to the fluency of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion neatly.
task achievement
You successfully included relevant examples, such as the think-pair-share technique and the history student example, which support your points effectively.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and clear, with examples that illustrate your arguments well.
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