Some say that music is a good way of bringing people from different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some
people
believe that
music
can assemble individuals from diverse generations and nationalities successfully.
This
essay completely concurs with
this
perspective, as
music
has a strong to negotiate linguistic, cultural and time barriers,
as well as
, to enrich mutual experiences of humanity. It is undoubtedly that
people
feel similar emotions when listening to the same
music
, even though they belong to different nationalities and can not understand its lyrics.
This
trait of
music
has been used throughout history for different purposes.
For instance
, fighters listened to inspiring rhythms before attending batlle in the far past.
This
tendency can be seen today
also
.
While
music
about war is played, all listeners experience similar emotions
such
as dismay, suffering, and loneliness and are surrounded by a gloomy aura.
In addition
, the Eurovision Song Contest is another brilliant example that
although
people
split into pretty different cultures and languages, they can easily create moral bonds easily each other and share parallel feelings with
music
. Interestingly,
music
also
came over age barriers. Nowadays, there are outstanding opera and theatre buildings
belonged
Correct pronoun usage
that belonged
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
Renaissance period and
people
are attracted including both young and old generations to listen to the compositions of that period which compositors like Bach, Beethoven, and Tchaikovsky are still famous.
Moreover
, the
music
bands namely, The Queen, Modern Talking, and ABBA peaked at the highest level of celebratedness and are even loved by both seniors and young in present. These trends illuminate that regardless of the date of creation, any melody can touch our soul. In conclusion, I agree
music
is a unique value for all humanity which can easily create bonds among individuals regardless of age, culture, traditions and any other traits based on the mentioned opinions.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task and clearly conveys your opinion. To improve further, ensure that your ideas are fully developed and elaborated with more examples or detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and coherent. However, try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using linking words or phrases more effectively.
grammar
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "compositions of that period which compositors like." Clarifying these points can enhance the clarity and readability of your essay.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, setting a clear direction for the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance, providing a strong closing to the essay.
examples
Your use of relevant examples, such as the Eurovision Song Contest and famous composers, effectively supports your arguments.

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