It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people argue that as we live only once we need not save our income

instead

Linking Words

spend it now and enjoy the moment. Where

on the other hand

Linking Words

, some argue that saving money for the future is very important because life is very unpredictable and

as a result

Linking Words

, there is a chance we may use that money.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

early retirement is only possible with the right financial planning.

Hence

Linking Words

, I completely agree

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that we should stop spending unnecessarily too much and start saving some part of our salary.

Firstly

Linking Words

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

life is uncertain, and if we haven't saved enough it can become a problem. Health problems are one of the major concerns because nowadays hospital bills can go up to lakhs of rupees and if we haven't planned our finances correctly we may face an issue of paying for those expenditures.

For example

Linking Words

, when people lost their jobs during COVID-19, and many people were getting infected by

this

Linking Words

virus, there were individuals who had not saved enough,

were

Correct word choice

and were

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

big trouble as they could not pay for their daily needs.

Hence

Linking Words

, saving for

such

Linking Words

unpredicted events is very important.

Secondly

Linking Words

, when we plan our finances by investing in mutual funds properly we can retire very early.

That is

Linking Words

after we have retired from our jobs we need to have enough money so that we can live the rest of our lives peacefully.

For instance

Linking Words

, when a young employee 26 years old saves up to 10000 Rs and invests that amount in SIP for the next 20 years,

then

Linking Words

he can easily retire by the age of 45 years and after that, he would get approximately 80000 Rs per month which I feel is enough for leading a good life.

Therefore

Linking Words

, proper saving and investing can help us plan for early retirement. In conclusion, I believe that if we start saving some part of our income regularly and invest it in the right place, it not only helps

in securing

Wrong verb form

secure

show examples

our future but

also

Linking Words

ensures that we can retire at a very early age.

yashaswikhot

Aug 31, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay responds well to the task, presenting clear arguments for saving money. To further improve, ensure that each paragraph maintains a single idea to avoid fragmentation. For example, the first body paragraph discusses both health issues and job loss, which could be separated to strengthen the coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay shows good logical structure and the points made are supported. However, you could enhance cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. For instance, using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' can help link the ideas better.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are both clear and effectively summarize the main points of the essay, contributing to a strong overall structure. Well done.

relevant specific examples

The examples provided are relevant and specific, adding credibility to the arguments made.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
You have completed the course and received a certificate, but you lost it on the way back. Write a letter to the Principal of the college. In your letter, you should tell: how you lost the certificate why you need it what you expect the principal to d
I recently graduated from your program last summer and I am writing to you regarding my misplaced certificate on my way back to my country. I have made several efforts to find it, however, all were to no avail.
8.5
band
A local annual festival will take place in your area soon. Write a letter to the organiser of the festival. In your letter –Provide feedback on the festival held last year. –Offer some help with organisation of this year’s festival –Inquire about specific details or features of the upcoming festival
I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to share my feedback on last year’s festival, offer assistance for the upcoming event, and inquire about certain details.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In an increasingly digital era, it is quite significant for individuals to take risks whether in the aspects of professional lives or personal lives. Today, I would like to discuss both of the advantages and the disadvantages of these two aspects. In my opinion, I believe the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.
7.5
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Taking risks is an integral part of life that plays a primary role in shaping both a person's career and personal development. While risk-taking can open doors to significant opportunities and personal growth, it also carries potential drawbacks, such as the pitfalls associated with gambling. In this essay, I will examine the benefits of embracing risks—such as seizing opportunities—and also discuss the drawbacks, including the dangers of excessive risk-taking in contexts like gambling.
6.5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying are alternative medicines anf treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
At present days, many people who face health problems are trying other cures and remedies rather than visiting their regular physician. The essay describes this as a negative practice and I would argue that health is so significant thing to stay better.

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You have completed the course and received a certificate, but you lost it on the way back. Write a letter to the Principal of the college. In your letter, you should tell: how you lost the certificate why you need it what you expect the principal to d

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying are alternative medicines anf treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?