In today’s, we still greatly value our artists (such as musicians, painters and writers) even now is age of advanced science and technology. Why is it? How arts improve people’s live?
Nowadays, we respect our
artists
. Although
we live in the digital era where advancement is fast. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss this
phenomenon more.
On the one hand, it is obvious that our artists
are our identification. So, we have to respect them due to
their position. In other words
, it is crucial to show our gratitude for their endeavour regarding their constructive role in a better community. Moreover
, it is essential to pay attention to how they will be able to live. If they can manage their lives properly, they will be able to promote art in our country. For example
, in the USA, the central government prefers to support artists
through regular financial payments, since it will help them to focus on their artistic actions.
On the other hand
, firstly
, if we generate artistic sensations for people, we will be able to assist them to increase their happiness in terms of inner feelings that can improve general well-being. Secondly
, it is necessary to concentrate on how we will be able to participate in activities, such
as concerts that can be helpful in creating motivation for audiences, since it will enhance their creativity through some artistic practical actions. For instance
, in India, most parents tend to send their children to learn musical instruments. They assume that these items can promote their artistic innovation.
In conclusion, it is vital to consider our artists
, since they are our identification. Also
, their role is significant in terms of a well-structured society. It is undeniable that artistic feelings will increase our happiness, and they will help us to gain a lot of creativity.Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on
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task response
Ensure that main points are fully developed with clear and specific examples. While general mentions like the USA's and India's support for artists are good, providing more detailed cases or studies would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay should maintain a logical progression of ideas. While the overall structure is clear, some paragraphs could benefit from more distinct topic sentences and logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Aim for greater clarity and precision in language to enhance overall readability. Some sentences are a bit awkward or repetitive; refining these can improve the coherence of your writing.
task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant reasons and examples to explain why we value artists in today's advanced technological age.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a cohesive structure. Both the opening and closing paragraphs effectively set the stage and summarize the arguments respectively.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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