In today’s, we still greatly value our artists (such as musicians, painters and writers) even now is age of advanced science and technology. Why is it? How arts improve people’s live?

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Nowadays, we respect our

artists

Use synonyms

Although

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we live in the digital era where advancement is fast. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss

this

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phenomenon more. On the one hand, it is obvious that our

artists

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are our identification. So, we have to respect them

due to

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their position.

In other words

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, it is crucial to show our gratitude for their endeavour regarding their constructive role in a better community.

Moreover

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, it is essential to pay attention to how they will be able to live. If they can manage their lives properly, they will be able to promote art in our country.

For example

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, in the USA, the central government prefers to support

artists

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through regular financial payments, since it will help them to focus on their artistic actions.

On the other hand

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firstly

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, if we generate artistic sensations for people, we will be able to assist them to increase their happiness in terms of inner feelings that can improve general well-being.

Secondly

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, it is necessary to concentrate on how we will be able to participate in activities,

such

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as concerts that can be helpful in creating motivation for audiences, since it will enhance their creativity through some artistic practical actions.

For instance

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, in India, most parents tend to send their children to learn musical instruments. They assume that these items can promote their artistic innovation. In conclusion, it is vital to consider our

artists

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, since they are our identification.

Also

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, their role is significant in terms of a well-structured society. It is undeniable that artistic feelings will increase our happiness, and they will help us to gain a lot of creativity.

ali.pazoki72Tue Aug 20 2024

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task response

Ensure that main points are fully developed with clear and specific examples. While general mentions like the USA's and India's support for artists are good, providing more detailed cases or studies would strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay should maintain a logical progression of ideas. While the overall structure is clear, some paragraphs could benefit from more distinct topic sentences and logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Aim for greater clarity and precision in language to enhance overall readability. Some sentences are a bit awkward or repetitive; refining these can improve the coherence of your writing.

task response

The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant reasons and examples to explain why we value artists in today's advanced technological age.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a cohesive structure. Both the opening and closing paragraphs effectively set the stage and summarize the arguments respectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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In today’s, we still greatly value our artists (such as musicians, painters and writers) even now is age of advanced science and technology. Why is it? How arts improve people’s live?

Your opinion

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The best way to plan a holiday is by not planning at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that school education is not useful and the essence of study can be acquired at home. Do you agree? Why or why not? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?