The bar chart below shows the average number of visitors who went to six types of attractions in Canberra, on a weekday on the weekend, in 2019

The bar chart below shows the average number of visitors who went to six types of attractions in Canberra, on a weekday on the weekend, in 2019
The bar chart shows the average number of
visitors
in 2019 who went to six types of
tourist
attractions in Canberra on a
week day
Correct your spelling
weekday
show examples
and on the
weekend
.
It is clear that
the number of
people
who went on the
weekend
is far greater than the number of
people
who went on a
weekday
. The most popular attraction in the list are cafes and restaurants with 140
people
visiting on the
weekend
and 80
people
visiting during a
weekday
. Following that are parks with 100
visitors
on the
weekend
making them the second most popular
tourist
attraction
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
only 50
people
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
them during a
weekday
. Shopping centres
also
have a significant amount of
visitors
on the
weekend
making them the third most populated attraction on a
weekend
with 80
people
while
they only get 60
people
on a
weekday
. Movie theatres
also
attracts
Change the verb form
attract
show examples
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
attention making them the 4th most visited place with 80
people
visiting them on the weekends and 40
people
on a
weekday
Fix the agreement mistake
weekdays
show examples
. Museums only get 70
visitors
during the
weeknd
Correct your spelling
weekend
and 20
people
on a
weekday
. Libraries are the least popular
tourist
attractions with only 30
people
visiting them on a
weekday
and 20
people
visiting them during a
weekday
.
To conclude
, Cafes and Restaurants are the most visited
tourist
attractions
whereas
Libraries are the least visited.
Submitted by satyarthverma88 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, tourist, weekend, people, weekday with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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