Mobile phones and the internet could have many benefits for older adults. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for older adults of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?

There has been rapid development in digital
devices
over the past 20 years. Older
generations
tend to use technology the least.
However
, innovations can
support
them to have a better quality of
living
Replace the word
life
show examples
in terms of shopping or getting medical treatment. Providing detailed
support
and explanation for its usefulness is the way to encourage these
generations
to be familiar with developed technology. Using technological
devices
can be an unfamiliar
experience
for elders. Even so, it is undeniable that phones and the
internet
offer a range of
services
to improve their life. One possible convenience the elderly can
experience
is online shopping. Many retired
generations
,
for example
,
experience
hardship in walking or driving regularly to shops and carry heavy bags of daily necessities. By using the
internet
and smart
devices
, they can get the staff they need without actually visiting the shop. Another outcome is the medical treatment.
Although
it may lack some accuracy, people can get medical
services
online by explaining the symptoms through video calls.
This
service
benefits
older
generations
to easily tackle their health concerns. To let elders use these
services
, several methods can be taken.
First,
detailed
support
can be provided by the company to make the user
experience
more comfortable. Considering that aged people often get confused by the system itself, mechanical
support
is essential.
Secondly
, promoting the
benefits
of using the
services
can attract customers. Older
generations
are not well-educated about these topics,
thus
, explanation is a key to
ease
Wrong verb form
easing
show examples
their anxiety.
For example
, Docomo, a Japanese company that provides
internet
services
, often holds a workshop for elders to explain the
benefits
and the risks of using smart
devices
. In conclusion,
this
essay considers the
benefits
of using advanced technologies to be online shopping and getting medical treatment. To motivate the aged generation to use phones and the
internet
, detailed
support
must be provided with a deep explanation
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
benefits
of the service.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To further improve your essay, ensure that the main points are consistently supported with detailed examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Consider linking your paragraphs with clear transitional phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-crafted introduction and conclusion, which present the topic clearly and summarize the key points effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively, providing both an explanation of the benefits and suggestions for encouraging technology use among older adults.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, and you've included relevant examples to support your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: