Mobile phones and the internet could have many benefits for older adults. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for older adults of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?

#phones #internet #adults #age #group #technology

There has been rapid development in digital

devices

over the past 20 years. Older

generations

tend to use technology the least.

However

, innovations can

support

them to have a better quality of

living

Replace the word

life

show examples

in terms of shopping or getting medical treatment. Providing detailed

support

and explanation for its usefulness is the way to encourage these

generations

to be familiar with developed technology. Using technological

devices

can be an unfamiliar

experience

for elders. Even so, it is undeniable that phones and the

internet

offer a range of

services

to improve their life. One possible convenience the elderly can

experience

is online shopping. Many retired

generations

for example

experience

hardship in walking or driving regularly to shops and carry heavy bags of daily necessities. By using the

internet

and smart

devices

, they can get the staff they need without actually visiting the shop. Another outcome is the medical treatment.

Although

it may lack some accuracy, people can get medical

services

online by explaining the symptoms through video calls.

This

service

benefits

older

generations

to easily tackle their health concerns. To let elders use these

services

, several methods can be taken.

First,

detailed

support

can be provided by the company to make the user

experience

more comfortable. Considering that aged people often get confused by the system itself, mechanical

support

is essential.

Secondly

, promoting the

benefits

of using the

services

can attract customers. Older

generations

are not well-educated about these topics,

thus

, explanation is a key to

ease

Wrong verb form

easing

show examples

their anxiety.

For example

, Docomo, a Japanese company that provides

internet

services

, often holds a workshop for elders to explain the

benefits

and the risks of using smart

devices

. In conclusion,

this

essay considers the

benefits

of using advanced technologies to be online shopping and getting medical treatment. To motivate the aged generation to use phones and the

internet

, detailed

support

must be provided with a deep explanation

Change preposition

show examples

the

benefits

of the service.

Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on Tue Jun 25 2024

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task achievement

To further improve your essay, ensure that the main points are consistently supported with detailed examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Consider linking your paragraphs with clear transitional phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a well-crafted introduction and conclusion, which present the topic clearly and summarize the key points effectively.

task achievement

You have addressed the task effectively, providing both an explanation of the benefits and suggestions for encouraging technology use among older adults.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, and you've included relevant examples to support your main points.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Mobile phones and the internet could have many benefits for older adults. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for older adults of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?

Your opinion

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form punishment. However, other hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers.

Many people believe that having a pet in the home, such as a dog or a cat, during a child’s first years of life is beneficial to that child’s development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this belief?

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. what measures could be taken to prevent this.

All the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older peoples. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?