Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable, and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While
some argue that governments should prohibit Linking Words
tourists
from entering certain places to preserve regional traditions, others believe that Use synonyms
change
is unavoidable, and it is useless to forbid Use synonyms
tourism
. I am convinced that Use synonyms
although
banning Linking Words
tourists
in some areas may limitedly protect some native cultures in the short term, the Use synonyms
change
is a must, and forbidding Use synonyms
tourism
may have no result because of the impact of the internet.
On the one hand, it is believed that banning Use synonyms
tourism
in some regions might save local customs. It is undeniable that receiving a large number of Use synonyms
tourists
will have certain negative effects on cultural heritage. Visitors may influence the local youth in some aspects Use synonyms
such
as lifestyle, fashion, and language. Linking Words
This
may lead to a huge and harmful Linking Words
change
in the daily life of a country. Use synonyms
For instance
, several remote provinces in Vietnam have experienced big changes after opening doors to Linking Words
tourists
. A lot of local young people follow new fashionable trends, get tattoos, or ask their parents to sell their homeland to buy modern motorbikes or cars. Some even quit their current jobs in craft villages and move to big cities with a dream of a more prosperous life. I disagree with Use synonyms
this
point because local traditions might be affected by other sources in the long term, and banning Linking Words
tourism
may keep local businesses in underdevelopment, Use synonyms
thus
, many local people will be unemployed.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the Linking Words
change
is unavoidable, and prohibiting Use synonyms
tourists
is a nonsense reaction. Use synonyms
Traveling
is a real demand, and it not only helps to develop local companies and creates jobs, but Change the spelling
Travelling
also
has a big contribution to the government budget. So, it is very difficult for the authorities to ban the Linking Words
tourism
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, with the rapid development of the internet, people all over the world can easily be influenced by strange cultures. Linking Words
Therefore
, forbidding Linking Words
tourists
might not help.
In conclusion, despite banning Use synonyms
tourism
may be effective in the short term, I believe that the Use synonyms
change
is inevitable and closing the door to Use synonyms
tourism
might be useless because the internet is so easy to access.Use synonyms
Submitted by hoangdaosales on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a good balance of both perspectives on the issue, but it would benefit from a more thorough exploration of each view. For example, consider providing additional arguments or evidence for why change is inevitable.
coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases. This will help to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph centers around a clear central idea. While your examples are relevant, they can sometimes overshadow the main argument of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both perspectives on the issue, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples to support your points, which makes your argument more convincing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example