Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community?
In my point of view, many
people
receive government benefits when they are out of work
for a long time. Some people
think that these job
seekers
should do voluntary work
in return for the help they get. This
idea has both advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
, one reason to support this
idea is that it can help the community
. When people
do voluntary work
, they help others. For example
, they could help in a local charity, clean parks, or assist the elderly. This
not only benefits the community
but also
gives the person a sense of purpose. They feel that they are doing something meaningful, which can boost their confidence.Secondly
, another reason is that voluntary work
can help job
seekers
gain new skills. When they work
in different places, they learn new things. These skills can be useful when they look for a job
in the future. It can also
show future employers that they are motivated and willing to work
hard, even when they are not getting paid.
However
, some people
might argue that forcing job
seekers
to do voluntary work
is unfair. They may already be struggling with their situation, and adding extra work
could be stressful. They might also
be spending a lot of time looking for a job
, and doing voluntary work
could take away from that. In some cases, the voluntary work
might not be related to their skills or interests, making it less beneficial for them.
In conclusion, while
there are clear benefits to having long-term job
seekers
do voluntary work
, it should not be forced. Voluntary work
can help the community
and the job
seekers
themselves, but it should be a choice, not a requirement. This
way, people
can give back to the community
if they are able, without feeling pressured.Submitted by acaitaz on
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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well, providing insights into both the advantages and disadvantages of the issue. However, you could enhance your argument by offering more specific examples and further elaboration on your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is logically structured and easy to follow, try to use more varied transitional phrases to link your ideas more smoothly. A more seamless flow of ideas could enhance your coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
To raise your score, make sure to develop each paragraph a bit more. You already have strong supporting points, but adding a bit more detail and examples can make your argument even stronger.
Conclusion, Introduction, and Structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and provides a balanced perspective, which is a strong way to round off the essay.
Conclusion, Introduction, and Structure
You have a clear logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion. Your paragraphs are organized in a logical manner, which helps the reader follow your argument.
Support for Main Points
Your essay includes relevant specific examples, which strengthens your argument and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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