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The bar chart below shows the average number of visitors who went to six types of attractions in Canberra, on a weekday on the weekend, in 2019

The bar chart below shows the average number of visitors who went to six types of attractions in Canberra, on a weekday on the weekend, in 2019
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The given bar chart compares the average amount of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited different sights in Canberra on a work
day
Use synonyms
 and on a
weekend
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
 in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the most attractive places in Canberra on
weekend
Use synonyms
 days and weekdays are cafes and restaurants.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can notice that
people
Use synonyms
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
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 going to visit attractions , especially on the weekends.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, on a workday, the average number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to regional parks was about 50
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 on a
weekend
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
, there were twice as many - about 100. The next facility is shopping centres, where the average sum of
visitors
Use synonyms
 was just below 60 on a weekday and around 90 on a
weekend
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the most crucial sights in Canberra are places where
people
Use synonyms
 can eat
such
Linking Words
 as cafes and restaurants, these places experienced around 90
people
Use synonyms
 on a weekday but approximately 150
visitors
Use synonyms
 on a
weekend
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
 which was the highest point in 2019. In 2019, regarding the 3 attractions, only about 20 travellers visited museums on a workday, and about 60 individuals on a
weekend
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can see that just under 80 individuals went to the movie theatres on a
weekend
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, on a weekday, there were twice as less: around 40
people
Use synonyms
. The
last
Linking Words
 sights are libraries, where were just above 20
people
Use synonyms
 on a workday and around 40
visitors
Use synonyms
 on a
weekend
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, day, weekend, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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