Some people believe that the government Should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experienc

The number of
cars
is increasing every year. At the same time, air pollution from their usage is
also
increasing. Not only humans
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
plants and animals suffer from the effects of car exhausts. There are several suggestions on how to reduce harmful emissions into the
atomosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
. I will outline some of them below. There is a day when people do not use their
cars
.
This
practice is many years old and is
practisized
Correct your spelling
practised
in many countries around the world. It's hard to say what percentage of
cars
are not used on
this
day. Frankly, I don't think
this
measure is very effective in preventing the consequences of car use. Plus there are many other, in my opinion, more effective ways to reduce environmental damage. One of them, switching to safer electric motors
instead
of gasoline motors. Technology is getting cheaper and more and more people are buying electric
cars
.
In addition
to
this
, another way to cope with carbon dioxide emissions could be for people to abandon their
cars
in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of greener modes of transportation. In today's society, there are a growing number of eco-activists who are choosing to ride a bicycle
instead
of a car. We should not forget about public transportation. It seems that making public buses and trams more comfortable and convenient could minimize the number of drivers in society To summarize all of the above, it's worth noting that giving up your vehicle for a day is not the most effective way to help nature.
Instead
, there are many other more effective methods of improving the environmental situation that can be considered
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear position on the topic and presents arguments to support it. However, you could strengthen your task achievement by incorporating more relevant examples and details to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific countries or cities that have successfully implemented car-free days or the impact of electric cars in reducing emissions could add more depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and there is a logical progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. To further improve coherence, consider using more transitional phrases to make the connections between ideas even clearer. For example, phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' could be used to link your points more effectively.
task achievement
You presented multiple solutions to the problem of air pollution caused by cars, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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