Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Over the past few decades, there has been a sharp growth in competition between individuals for admission to universities.

This

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essay vehemently argues that

this

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is a detrimental trend

due to

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the harmful ramifications and its threat to a healthy lifestyle. To commence with, a fundamental demerit would be the dangerous repercussions. An adolescent who attempts to be offered a place at university, would constantly compare his self to his peers and try to be better than them no matter how.

This

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could

further

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encourage youngsters to take drugs

such

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as pills to increase their level of concentration which has a significantly dangerous side effect.

For instance

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, a survey conducted in my country outlines the proportion of youths utilizing concentration medications has remarkably swelled during the past decade.

Moreover

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, struggling to receive an offer from a university is undoubtedly threatening to a healthy lifestyle.

This

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not only increases the chance of individuals committing a crime

such

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as cheating on exams but

also

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dramatically escalates the level of anxiety and stress among students. A case to the point would be one of my pupils who was dealing with a high anxiety level and bribed someone to buy the university entrance interview questions.

To conclude

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according to

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what has already been discussed above, everything can be recapitulated into the fact that, in today’s competitive world, the growth of competition between souls for receiving a seat at universities is inevitable which has enormous drawbacks

such

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as self-comparison, drug usage and plummeting the standards of a healthy lifestyle,

nonetheless

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this

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sounds completely a negative scenario to me.

maryam.niknammTue Jan 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea which is developed, rather than multiple ideas that are less clearly connected to the overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help connect ideas more clearly and seamlessly throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are present, they should more explicitly state the main argument and summarise the key points made within the body respectively.

task achievement

Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task and develop each point with clear explanations and relevant examples. Avoid general statements without clear relevance to the argument.

task achievement

Provide specific, concrete examples to support each point made, rather than hypothetical or anecdotal evidence, to strengthen the argument.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic achievements
foster
culture of excellence
merit-based system
dedicated
educational institutions
quality education
future workforce
stress and pressure
fierce competition
mental health
anxiety
depression
burnout
tertiary education
less privileged backgrounds
exacerbate
social inequality
drives innovation
programs and facilities
overemphasis
creativity
critical thinking
ethical judgment

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Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some feel that tourism endangers culture while others feel it is beneficial. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People have to spend more and more time to travel their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can wo solve this problem?