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Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?/

#part #everyone’ #life #people #lives
since time immemorial, occupation and leisure have become an indispensable part of humans' lives.
although
 some prefer to choose unemployment, I believe that a career is of great importance in individuals' lives for some reasons that are going to be argued in
this
 essay. To commence with, professional pursuits can provide one with a structure and plenty of goals conducive to a meaningful life.
For instance
, teenagers select to pursue their education in certain fields and try to move in parallel with their goals.
Thus
, not only can
careers
 channel individuals' personal lives but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
also
 instil motivation in them leading to psychological virtues
such
 as self-contentment. Another justification can be the financial vexations that can associated with unemployment. To illustrate, in the present climate, it is of great importance to have a well-paid job to afford the high expenditures of life
otherwise
 one would be deprived of even basic facilities
such
 as a healthcare service or proper education.
Therefore
, professions are of great significance for more welfare.
On the other hand
, some argue that those who have no
careers
 can dedicate their time to hobbies that suit their passion. It is,
also
, opined that these groups can experience less stress and pressure linked to
careers
 leading to maintaining good physical and mental health. I,
however
, find myself in disagreement with them as the majority of individuals need money to be met and
this
 will not be achieved unless, with an income source, jobs are the main source in most of the cases.
In addition
, vocational
careers
 are capable of enhancing physical well-being, as well. In conclusion, it seems rational to accept that not only are appropriate professional pursuits infallible precursors to more welfare but
also
 they can be incentives.
Submitted by samirakasraee72 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant ideas, but make sure to clearly align your arguments with the topic. The introduction should state the topic more clearly, and the essay should directly refer to advertising.
coherence and cohesion
Strive to maintain a clear and logical structure. The essay has a decent flow, but some transitions between points can be smoother and more aligned with the topic of advertising. This will make your argument more coherent and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task response
You have provided some interesting points and examples that loosely align with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • informative
  • engages
  • creative
  • art form
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • misleading
  • exaggerating
  • vulnerable
  • unrealistic
  • body image expectations
  • competitive
  • economical
  • targeted ads
  • personalized ads
  • intrusive
What to do next:
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