Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Although
the medicine has made titanic advancements over the
last
few years, the trust in it has been
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a decline.
As a result
, there is a growing demand for
alternative
medicines
and treatments that do not heed established science and rely on traditional forms of treatments In my view,
this
development is a dire one and will have a significantly negative impact on general health.
Firstly
, using
alternative
medicines
is most likely perilous and may well give
way
to dangerous health hazards. Since
this
way
of
treatment
has not been scientifically proven, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not any concrete evidence that a
treatment
will have the intended result and often, it will worsen the symptoms and fail catastrophically. Take the case of Steve Jobs, he was
dignosed
Correct your spelling
diagnosed
with cancer but
instead
of starting the
treatment
suggested by doctors, he opted for
alternative
medicines
. A choice that cost him his life.
Moreover
, the ones who practice
alternative
medicines
rarely have the good of their patients in mind.
Furthermore
, they even may charge more than a usual doctor because they are usually self-appointed experts that are less common than doctors and
hence
more valuable.
For instance
,
treatment
for a routine sickness does not cost much using modern
medicines
as they are more mainstream,
however
, to treat the same sickness the
alternative
medicines
practitioner may charge more.
Overall
, I think the modern
way
of treating diseases is the best
way
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is true that it does not always yield the expected results, it should not hinder its effectiveness and make people opt for other kinds of treatments as they, in the best case, do not work.
Submitted by parsaj1381 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Seek to recognize potential counterarguments to your stance in order to reinforce your position. This would showcase a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to fully develop each point you introduce, providing further explanations or examples where necessary.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a strong introduction that clearly states your position on the topic, setting up the reader's expectations effectively.
relevant specific examples
The use of a relevant real-life example (Steve Jobs) serves well in supporting your argument, illustrating the potential dangers of alternative medicine.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!