IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses, trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disavatages

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers #disavatages
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Recently, we can see that the automation revolution has been applied
suscessfully
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successfully
 in many industrial sectors, and
a
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transportation will be one of them.
Then
Linking Words
, the public vehicles without drivers will be the important consideration that it can bring to us many
benifits
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benefits
agaisnt
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against
 the traditional modes. First of all, we can see that if the buses or trains are provided with
the
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driving automation devices, the labour cost will be reduced significantly, and
the
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apply
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personal senses or attitudes will be avoided too. The
reasons
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reason
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are
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is
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 the cost of automatic devices will be cheaper
day
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 by
day
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, leading
to
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many businesses can afford to do that
insteads
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instead
 of recruiting too much staff.
Also
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to manage
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managing
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 the staff sometimes
is relating
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relates
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 too much
on
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to
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 personal ideas, which are leading too
much
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many
show examples
un-necessary
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unnecessary
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 debates.
Secondly
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, it can be known that
productivity
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the productivity
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 of providing automatic tools on vehicles will be improved significantly. The system can be
programed
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programmed
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 and the time management must be
accurated
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accurate
,
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apply
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 so that the traffic jam would be mitigated as an example of
benifit
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benefit
benefits
.
Beside
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Besides
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of
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the
advanatage
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advantages
 points,
also
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 there are drawbacks we can
aware
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be aware
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 of,
such
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 as the risks of program malfunction, or the
behavious
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behaviour
behaviours
 of people we haven't known.
However
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, I trust that those drawback points can be solved by the ability of
selflearning
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self-learning
self learning
 tools of AI.
Also
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, citizens
day
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 by
day
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 will
be having
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become
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 more educated and more
respectings
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respectful
to
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of
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 the laws or regulations. So all in all, it is believed that as a
trending
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trend
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 of
a
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apply
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social development,
the
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apply
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driverless- especially for the public transportation sector- will be becoming more and more popular, and it shall be replacing
for
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apply
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the traditional mode soon.
This
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 will
be bringing
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bring
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 more
benifits
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benefits
 and
helping
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help
show examples
 us to have more better life.
Submitted by nelson311974 on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention case studies or statistics where driverless technology has been implemented successfully.
task achievement
For clarity, ensure that all your ideas are fully fleshed out. Some points are good but could be expanded for greater comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'benifits' instead of 'benefits' and 'agaisnt' instead of 'against'. These small errors can detract from the overall readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between your main points to make the essay flow more smoothly. This will help maintain logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments well.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, showing a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, and your main points are easily identifiable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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