IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Average number of pupils per class in primary schools and lower secondary school

#pupils #class #schools #school
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Average
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The average
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number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 per
class
Use synonyms
 in primary
schools
Use synonyms
 and lower secondary
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 who
study
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
participation
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in lower secondary
school
Use synonyms
 was higher in South
Korea
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
, and over the
world
Use synonyms
,
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced lower
figures
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Denmark
Use synonyms
, and
Iceland
Use synonyms
.
Average
Add an article
The average
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 per
class
Use synonyms
 in primary
schools
Use synonyms
 and lower secondary
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 who
study
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
participation
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in lower secondary
school
Use synonyms
 was higher in South
Korea
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
, and over the
world
Use synonyms
,
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced lower
figures
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Denmark
Use synonyms
, and
Iceland
Use synonyms
.
Average
Add an article
The average
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 per
class
Use synonyms
 in primary
schools
Use synonyms
 and lower secondary
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 who
study
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
participation
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in lower secondary
school
Use synonyms
 was higher in South
Korea
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
, and over the
world
Use synonyms
,
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced lower
figures
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Denmark
Use synonyms
, and
Iceland
Use synonyms
.
Average
Add an article
The average
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 per
class
Use synonyms
 in primary
schools
Use synonyms
 and lower secondary
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 who
study
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
participation
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in lower secondary
school
Use synonyms
 was higher in South
Korea
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
, and over the
world
Use synonyms
,
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced lower
figures
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Denmark
Use synonyms
, and
Iceland
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by elbayevazamat on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure – there are no distinct introduction and conclusion sections. Introduce your topic in the beginning and summarize your findings at the end.
task achievement
Ensure each point is supported with clear evidence or examples. For example, you could provide actual statistics or trends for the mentioned countries to highlight differences.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition to make your essay concise and focused. Repeatedly stating the 'average number of students per class' does not add value to the essay.
task achievement
The essay briefly mentions relevant countries to compare average class sizes across different regions, which is a good starting point for analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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