Some people get a chance to choose between life without work and spending most of the time working, then they would choose not to work. Agree or disagree?
It is a highly debatable issue whether
people
choose life
without work
, or whether they enjoy their life
with work
. In my view, I totally agree that life
without working is useless and has a bad impact on people
's lives.
Opposing this
view, some people
argue that Stress and hard work
can harm themselves. If the individual is interested in their hobbies, they may be probably more creative. I think that this
is not true, because hobbies can't be enough to support people
in their life
. For example
, being a printer or photographer does not bring a lot of money. Thus
, working could enhance people
's living standards.
Furthermore
, some claim that leisure time
is capable of improving individuals’ psychology Being busy all the time
, will definitely make people
tired and weak. However
, they are completely wrong. When people
possess the capacity to work
, this
will make them relax. Leisure time
such
as using smartphones for a long time
or Watching TV leads to many diseases like obesity. So, activity is a kind of sport that is
beneficial for health.
Contrary to the individual who says that Working is useful for people
. Constantly working aids the individual to be independent. To illustrate, they get a salary from the job which will help them to meet their needs. Therefore
, this
may reduce crime in society. Moreover
, I think that when people
stay without investing their time
, they will remain unknown about life
. People
while
Working can gain many experiences like using a computer and calculating. As a result
, they used to think and innovate in their lives.
In conclusion, Working is inconsequential for Some People
. I totally agree that working is helpful and gives us opportunities to explore life
's creativity. Therefore
, people
have to work
hard and invest time
to prevent applying many problems.Submitted by 13570581 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
The essay should focus on providing more specific and varied examples. This can strengthen your arguments and make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the writer’s stance.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant arguments and examples, making the essay persuasive.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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