In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishments. To what extent do you agree

It is believed that young
kids
who are involved in big
crimes
should be punished the same as adults without the concern of age. I completely agree with
this
because they should fear committing
crimes
and they think a hundred times before doing any
crime
that they will be held accountable for
this
. The main reason is that young ones will fear that if they are going to commit any
crime
,
then
they are going to be punished. They will not even think of doing a
crime
if they know the consequences.
For instance
, if
kids
are punished in the same way as adults, there will be a less number of
crimes
. They will think before doing any
crime
that they will get punished,
therefore
, they should not do any
crime
.
Moreover
, they should be punished to help the community safe. If there is no punishment for
crimes
, there will be a greater ratio of
crimes
, and the community will not be safe.For illustration, young
kids
copy each other’s actions. In my area, a child started stealing things and by watching him, other young
kids
started to steal things.
Furthermore
, they should be held accountable for their actions. If they are not held responsible for their
crimes
, they will do it again.
For example
, in Lahore, a young kid killed his brother and he didn’t get any punishment for killing. In
this
way, he gained confidence and committed
crime
again.
Submitted by sajeehulzamans on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction presents a clear standpoint on the issue, but it would be stronger if you provided a brief outline of the main points you intend to discuss.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay would benefit from a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion in light of the arguments presented.
relevant specific examples
While your ideas are comprehensive, integrating a few more specific examples or statistics would make your arguments more compelling.
complete response
You have clearly stated your viewpoint and reasons for your stance, which successfully addresses the prompt.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured with distinct paragraphs for each main point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Rehabilitation
  • Adolescent development
  • Impulsive behavior
  • Criminal justice system
  • Deterrence
  • Recidivism
  • Moral reasoning
  • Developmental psychology
  • Restorative justice
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