IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

in the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It used to be accepted wisdom that the world is concentrating on the digital technology platform, which is shifting significantly in recent years.
Moreover
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, regarding the development of 4.0 technology, reading online gradually substituted the original reading ways
such
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 as newspapers and books.
Therefore
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, I agree that the number of
people
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 reading information highways will be higher than
people
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 who still using paper for
people
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 in the future.
Firstly
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, I should begin by highlighting the fact that printed newspapers and books bring various risks to the user. Because paper is one of the most breakable materials, it can easily get lost and catch fire if we do not take care of it carefully.
Besides
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 that another drawback of the printed file is could be a negative influential factor on the environment.
For example
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, if general citizens are not aware of how to use and recycle paper correctly, books and newspapers will be a threat of pollution and fire.
However
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, human beings tend to avoid risks by using assignments on networks and reading online documents. In my view, I suspect that the most prevalent advantage of reading online could be saving human money time, and natural resources
such
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 as wood, which is a crucial element to contribute to a healthy environment.
Furthermore
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, when
people
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 can access technology more frequently in the future, there will be quite a wide range of open information sources, which is an enormous benefit for humans worldwide.
For example
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, they can currently find information easily without paying and arrange, take notes, and even immediately share files online with anyone else. In conclusion
according to
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 the innovation of the era, I completely agree that mortals will prefer reading everything they want online than reading traditionally in the next 4.0 century.

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task achievement
Your task response is strong overall. To make it even better, try to include more specific examples or data to support your claims. This will help in making your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is fairly well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your points and make the text flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
For further improvement, you might want to note that some parts of the essay could benefit from a more logical sequence. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and elaborates on it thoroughly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are particularly strong and clearly state your viewpoint, which helps with overall readability.
supported main points
You have done a good job in identifying and discussing the main points relevant to the topic, which shows a good grasp of the subject matter.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your use of language is generally clear and effective, which helps in conveying your ideas well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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