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Band 6.5

Nowadays, children play less with others and this has an impart on their development. What are the reasons for this? Does it have a good or a bad effect on children?

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We live in
this
Linking Words
 era where children spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on their own
instead
Linking Words
 of playing with
others
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the expert,
this
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 kind of situation will have a negative impact on their development.
This
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 essay will first examine
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
 behind
this
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 phenomenon and
then
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 the drawbacks of spending too much
time
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 alone as a kid.
To begin
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 with, in
this
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 developing society, some of the parents take a lot of their children's moment.
For example
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, enrolling them to take extra courses like music, math, art, and
others
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. Even though
this
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 kind of activity
also
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 creates a beneficial improvement, the
time
Use synonyms
 with their friends cannot be underestimated since it is important to balance their youth life in terms of validating their social needs and love necessities.
However
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, the youngsters are the phase where humans are having massive development.
This
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 crucial
time
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 should be maximalized to do more self-exploration including socializing. Playing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
same-age persons will support their ability to learn about
others
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' characters and bring about an adaptable personality,
for instance
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.
Moreover
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, at a young age, humans usually understand something by taking an example from
others
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' behaviour, In
this
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 situation, spending more
time
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 with their friends makes these kids more aware of what to benchmark. In a nutshell, providing access to gain some new skill sets is crucial for their advancement, but it is
also
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 important to fulfil their joy
time
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 with their companion.
To conclude
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, the fewer moments spent by children playing results in negative effects,
while
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 sufficient play
time
Use synonyms
 plays a great role in generating a resilient character and flexible nature.

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your introduction should provide a brief context for the topic and outline the essay's structure.
Linking
Work on linking your ideas more clearly and transition smoothly between them. Using a variety of linking words and phrases can enhance the coherence of your essay.
Development
Develop and support your main points more thoroughly. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, with clear examples that are directly relevant to the question.
Task Response
Be more precise in responding to all parts of the prompt. While you addressed the reasons and effects, you could offer more specific examples and a more in-depth analysis.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social skills
  • physical activity
  • communication
  • interaction
  • bonding
  • emotional development
  • cognitive development
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • screen time
  • peer pressure
  • overprotective
  • outdoor spaces
  • play areas
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • socialization
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