IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
In the past, various
knowledge
 was stored in books. In
this
 day and age, with advanced technology, most people utilize the
internet
 as a primary storage for
knowledge
.
This
 essay argues that the advantages sharply outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, converting valuable
knowledge
 from books into online storage can face many challenges, especially with the risk of plagiarism. Nowadays, with high-frequency
internet
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
, people can effortlessly access
to
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apply
show examples
many available information resources, causing a widespread distrust in academic examinations.
This
 problem can be demonstrated by the enormous number of students who cheat on their exams.
In addition
, the original authors
Add a missing verb
were
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mostly concerned about the lack of copyright protection. A lot of
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 academic
knowledge
are
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is
show examples
 often shared without
author's
Correct article usage
the author's
show examples
 consent, leading to infringement on intellectual property rights. Despite those challenges,
i
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I
show examples
 believe that the advantages of advanced technology significantly surpass the disadvantages. To address those issues, many complicated plagiarism detection software
has
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have
show examples
 been developed, contributing to the protection of
author's
Correct article usage
the author's
show examples
 intellectual property.
Moreover
, one of the most important advantages of
internet
storaging
Correct your spelling
storage
 is its accessibility and convenience. Leading-edge technologies
allowing
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allow
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 individuals from every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 to easily access
to
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apply
show examples
academic
knowledge
 and research worldwide.
For instance
, students
who
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apply
show examples
from other continents can approach scientific articles from overseas
university
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universities
show examples
 with ease.
Furthermore
, buying printed books often
cost
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costs
show examples
 much more than searching for online information, especially with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific
knowledge
 from various fields. The accessibility of
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 enables learners
acquire
Add the particle
to acquire
show examples
knowledge
 at the lowest cost. In conclusion,
although
 there are still many controversial opinions regarding the disadvantages of
store
Wrong verb form
storing
show examples
knowledge
 on the
internet
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Internet
show examples
,
i
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I
show examples
 strongly believe that its benefit will be an appropriate replacement for traditional ways.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic well but could benefit from a clearer stance and more detailed examples. Try to elaborate on your arguments with specific scenarios or studies.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the question are fully addressed. In this case, discussing the idea that nobody will buy printed newspapers or books in the future could be more directly tied to current trends and future projections.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically into the next one, which will improve the essay's logical structure. For instance, a more detailed exploration of the negative side of online knowledge could help balance the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and more complex sentence structures to improve the logical structure of your essay. This can enhance readability and overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively. Words like 'therefore', 'however', and 'moreover' can help guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
You have provided a well-organized argument with clear main points and examples to support your views.
coherence cohesion
Your use of transitional phrases helps in maintaining the flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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