IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are having problems with a neighbour’s animals because the fence between your properties is old and In poor repair. You want the neighbour to pay half the cost of building a new fence. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter •say what the problems are •explain how a new fence will solve the problems •suggest that the neighbour pays half of the cost

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Dear Smith, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in radiant health and best of the spirits. I am writing
this
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 letter to inform you that the fence between our houses is now replaced. I am Bob, your neighbour living here since
last
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 year. My family is facing some problems because of your new pet. We love dogs but your dog damages the barrier which creates problems for my children, as they are little.
Also
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, we never allowed our kids to play in the garden. Sometimes, they get scared
while
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 sleeping and after the doctor's advice, they say it all happens just because of fear.
Last
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 week, a person came to install a new fence which is stronger than the old one. Cover your side with any film so, your dog could not see my children
while
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 playing.
Also
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, train your puppy and use a chain during walking time. They charged me $500 and gave me a receipt. I have attached it to
this
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 letter, so you can check all the costs.
This
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 fence is sharing property so, we should divide it equally which would be great. I hope to hear a prompt response from your side regarding
this
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 matter. Yours lovingly, Bob

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task achievement
You did a good job addressing the key points, but there are areas where clarity and organization can be improved. Make sure to clearly discuss the specific problems caused by the broken fence and then logically transition to how a new fence will solve these issues.
coherence cohesion
Try to separate ideas into distinct paragraphs for better readability. For example, have one paragraph discussing the problems, another explaining the benefits of a new fence, and a final paragraph suggesting splitting the cost.
coherence cohesion
There is a bit of abruptness when transitioning between talking about the problems and mentioning that the fence has already been replaced. It might be smoother to discuss the plan for a new fence first, before stating it has been installed.
suitable writing tone
Your tone is polite and reasonable, which will help in gaining the neighbor's cooperation.
complete response
You've covered the main points required by the prompt, showing a good understanding of the task.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriate and add a personal touch to formal communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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