Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve theie ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

Some of the public think that the aim of education is for the person to help the
community
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;
however
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, others believe that the aim is for them to achieve their goals. I believe both claims are true and should not contradict each other.
Firstly
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, Universities and schools should prepare
people
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to be an active part of society, a part which can make an impact and bring change for the good of the
people
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around them. In order to do so, the study could build important skills as leadership, teamwork, environmental or moral criticism,
for example
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, raise awareness through learning about racial and financial inequalities. Learning values
such
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as societal gaps can help the
community
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grow safely and prosper.
Secondly
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, Education should help individuals to pursue their personal hopes and dreams. The academy can open doors and provide specific courses that can help
people
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to fulfil their potential. They could secure their financial future with a job that they love,
for example
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, can make use of their personal
taletns
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talents
and be more creative at their work. A sense of purpose can be achieved through a balance between personal achievements and the ability to create impact for society. The academy should be aiming not only to focus on financial success but
also
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to educate about how to add extra value to the
community
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. In conclusion, the academy has a critical role in shaping the next generation
,
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;
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therefore
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, I strongly agree with the statements at the beginning of the essay. I believe that it's the university's responsibility to provide individuals with the tools for both achieving their dreams, but at the same time, connect them to real life and a sense of
community
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. Both aspects will ensure that their work-life will be balanced and in tune with the
people
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around them.

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grammar
Fix small spelling and grammar errors to make your point clear.
coherence
Improve how you link ideas so the essay flows better.
task response
Give one clear line of view in the intro and restate it in the end.
examples
Use more clear examples to show your idea.
task response
You state both sides and then give a clear view.
structure
You use steps like Firstly and Secondly, which shows structure.
scope
You discuss both personal goals and social good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • society
  • useful
  • work
  • goal
  • dream
  • skill
  • talent
  • creative
  • rules
  • discipline
  • team
  • care
  • space
  • options
  • career
  • future
  • balance
  • core
  • subject
  • learning
  • choice
  • value
  • growth
  • study
  • grow
  • life
  • plan
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