Some people think the advertisement has positive economic effects, while others think it has social impacts because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It has been noticed that the Industrial Revolution and the flourishing of media had a significant impact on
people
's concepts. Some believe that advertising products boost the economy
while
others believe that it manipulates the human mind to feel always as if something is missing to make their
life
better and they need to purchase things to have a better
life
. To commence with the first opinion, Those who advocate
this
point of view indicate the
benefits
of advertisements. They opine that when companies advertise their products
people
will purchase more and
consequently
,production will increase and the demand for employees will rise as well.
In other words
, it is a connected chain that starts with advertisers and ends up with a stronger economy. A clear example of
that is
the air fryers that filled the market shelves where advertising the health
benefits
of obtaining
such
devices made them a good choice for customers to purchase and became a must to have in every single home, by
this
the economical
benefits
will be certainly seen and obvious for everyone.
On the contrary
, some
people
consider the advertised items in the market to be traps which drag individuals to buy something unnecessary for them. In the sense that they give the illusion that their
life
will not be good if they do not get
this
item and they
this
may offer them more comfort and get the ideal
life
.
In other words
, these
people
see that individuals are misled and the media is playing a role in changing their perspectives and feel always unsatisfied about what they really have.
To sum up
, the aforementioned points clearly show the merits and the downsides of
this
phenomenon which has become inevitable in our time.
However
, I believe that the disadvantages of
this
can be eclipsed by the
benefits
if we raise the awareness of customers to think deeply before they buy anything whether they need it or not to avoid wasting their money and being swamped with stacks of unwanted items.
Submitted by nawartomry on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task and discusses both views effectively. However, try to develop your points with more specific examples and further explanation where necessary.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are well-structured and connected smoothly. In some areas, the ideas jump somewhat abruptly from one to another. Use linking phrases to enhance coherence and create a smooth logical flow.
general advice
Try to proofread your essay for minor grammatical mistakes. Doing so can make your argument easier to follow and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help set up and wrap up your argument effectively.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is essential for a complete response in Task 2.
task achievement
Using examples like the air fryers helps to illustrate your point and make your argument more tangible. It's a good practice to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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