Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possibl. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinio.

A considerable amount of people think that at an early
age
,
for example
,
children
should start getting an
education
while
,
on the other hand
, some people think it should not begin till the
age
of 7 years.
According to
me, it is better for
children
to get an
education
from an early
age
therefore
, they can get familiar with the
education
system at an early
age
. On the one hand, the main reason is that
children
have the ability to learn things quickly.
Children
pick up things and get familiar with it very quickly.
Children
are interested in getting an
education
,
therefore
they look at it as an entertainment factor they do not have anxiety problems and are not involved in other co-curricular activities. At an early
age
,
moreover
, they do not have much more
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
,
therefore
, they can concentrate on their studies.
On the other hand
, some people think that
children
should not begin
education
until the
age
of 7 because
at
Add the comma(s)
, at
show examples
the
age
of 7,they should play. They should be free to enjoy their childhood because an early
age
a child will not bear the burden of
education
. Their childhood should look like they are child
otherwise
they are going to look like anxious patients because of the
education
burden.
For instance
, my nephew went to school at an early
age
and when he came back he had a lot of homework that he had to do at home. In conclusion,
although
children
should get
education
at an early
age
,
therefore
, they can get familiar with the
education
system before the
age
of 7 ,
however
,
children
who start
education
at the
age
of 7 will have to face many difficulties regarding
education
.
Submitted by sajeehulzamans on

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Your essay addresses the main points of the topic, but it's important to ensure all arguments are equally developed. You could expand on both viewpoints more thoroughly for a more balanced discussion.
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Try to improve the clarity and precision of your sentences. This will make your ideas easier to understand and more convincing for the reader.
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Make sure to use more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Providing concrete evidence can greatly enhance the persuasiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical flow from one paragraph to the next. Transitional phrases and clearer connections between ideas can enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence structures and avoid redundancy to improve the coherence of your writing. Simple, concise sentences are often more effective in conveying your message.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, and link the end of each paragraph to the beginning of the next one smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion in your essay, which is essential for completeness.
task achievement
You have provided a specific example involving your nephew, which makes your argument more tangible and relatable.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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