In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, the number of migrations from villages to urban areas is increasing. From my standpoint, it could be extremely devastating
due to
the fact of compelling reasons and practical examples, that
this
essay will expound on. One of the major drawbacks of overpopulation in cities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can be air pollution.
This
is mainly because the more individuals accumulate, the more personal vehicles will be driven.
Consequently
, the amount of toxic fumes and gases that are emitted, would be increased significantly.
This
could eventually lead to the inversion in the cold seasons;
besides
the intense heat waves in summer.
For example
, in Tehran, the rate of population growth has been so high that the government has had to declare a number of days off,
due to
air pollution. Another implication can be a rise in the price of accommodation. When a large number of people rush to an area, the demand for purchasing or renting a place will advance dramatically.
Although
it seems to be an incredible opportunity for central cities to develop, not every person can afford the price of a residence in town.
Therefore
, plenty of rural people move to the suburbs.
Subsequently
, a great deal of slums would be established in remote parts that could increase the ratio of poverty, robbery and insecurity.
However
, some argue that the countryside can never provide enough facilities and occupations for its residents.
Accordingly
, the young generation doesn’t have any other choice except for migration. In conclusion, despite the few benefits
this
trend brings about, I firmly believe that the repercussions of
this
migration can be worse.
Submitted by mahtaesmailian on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to expand on your ideas a bit more. For instance, the disadvantages mentioned (air pollution and rise in accommodation prices) could be elaborated with more depth or additional examples.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is quite coherent overall, some sentences could be structured a bit more smoothly to enhance the flow of ideas. Connecting sentences with better transitions would improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
task response
The main points are relevant and well-supported with examples, such as the Tehran example, which illustrates the issue effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: