Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay it. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give you own opinion.
While
some people
believe that going to the gym
is the best way to stay fit, others argue that there are more effective alternatives. This
essay will analyse both points of view and express my opinion.
On the one hand, some people
think that going to the gym
is the most effective method because it helps in losing weight, building muscles and enhancing people
’s outer appearance. In other words
, it improves blood circulation and heart rate which contributes to building new cells for both the skin and the muscles. For example
, recent research has proven that people
who tend to exercise
in the gym
more regularly, have better shape and are less affected by the ageing process. In addition
, they can benefit from personalized trainers who give them special workout timetables and they cannot get these special tips rather than going to the gym
.
On the other hand
, some people
prefer other effective measures. First,
they consider losing weight by having fewer calories in their diet, for example
, they stopped having bread and sugary food and drinks. Moreover
, they prefer doing their exercise
at home
rather than going out, which is more convenient for them. For example
, the widespread of videos and YouTube channels for home
exercise
resulted in many people
using them to stay in
a good physical appearance.
In conclusion, the preference for going to the Verb problem
maintain
gym
rather than using other methods,
relies on increasing body fitness and having personalized trainers. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, others prefer have
Fix the infinitive
to have
low-calorie
diet or Correct article usage
a low-calorie
exercise
at home
. In my opinion, I believe a combination of gym
workouts and home
exercises, along with
a balanced diet, is the most effective approach to staying fit."Submitted by hazarbakhit on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Ensure all parts of the task are fully addressed. This includes a clear and balanced discussion of both views and a personal opinion. The essay somewhat leans more towards explaining the gym side rather than balancing both views equally.
coherence cohesion
Work on integrating linking words and phrases smoothly to enhance the flow of arguments. Some transitions between ideas are abrupt.
supported main points
Expand on the examples provided to make them more specific and relevant. This will help to better illustrate your points and provide a stronger argument for both views.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the essay's structure. It prepares the reader effectively for what is to come.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a well-balanced personal opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas, with each view adequately addressed.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!