IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You want to join a local club or organization. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter: - Introduce yourself and explain why you are interested. - Ask about membership requirements. - Enquire about the next meeting or event.

#club #organization #secretary #membership #requirements #enquire #event
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Good afternoon, dear sir/madam. First of all, let me, please , express my sincere admiration for your activity. I have heard a lot about your projects
due to
 the mass media. My name is Anastassia, my family and I just moved to your neighbourhood. I participated for several years in activities and projects of the "Doing the Best" club in my previous community. We organised charity shops, helped with wildlife,
moreover
, we conducted events of cleaning the beach. I'm writing
this
 letter with the purpose of clarifying the membership requirements, except to be older than 18 years old.
Furthermore
, I'm curious to know how may I connect my teenage girls to your activities.
In addition
, I have taught teens and adults to play chess. We have had weekly classes. I think it'll be nice to organise
such
 classes here. Anyway, I'll be happy to obtain your brochure with the depiction of your future events and activities. Looking forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Anastassia
Submitted by anastasia on

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suitable writing tone
Ensure that the tone remains consistently formal and avoid overly casual phrases like 'let me, please, express my sincere admiration'. A more straightforward expression might work better in a formal letter.
single idea per paragraph
While the letter is generally well-organized, tightening the introduction and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus could make it even better. For example, combining the first and second paragraphs might help streamline your introduction.
greeting and closing
Your introduction is very polite and respectful, which sets a positive tone.
complete response
You have clearly covered all the required points: introducing yourself, inquiring about membership, and asking about the next meeting or event.
logical structure
The letter is logically structured and easy to follow, which makes it very coherent.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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