people generally know that envoronment is important. however, most individuals do not take responsibilities to protect the environment. Why is this? what should be done to encourage people to protect the envioronment?

Environmental issues are one of the most important subjects in any
society
.
While
the vast majority of people are highly dutiful about environmental problems, several crowds do not tend to be responsible for preserving their
environment
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of training. The
government
seem to play a crucial role in motivating the public to keep the
environment
safe. Unfortunately, the absence of training about how to protect the
environment
, either in schools or
society
, leads to an unaware
society
.
As a result
, many public, even those who are highly concerned about the
environment
, can not take any action about
this
vital situation. A few Children,
for example
, have the opportunity to deal with
environment
-related courses. Apart from that, because of a lack of training, the majority of people can not predict how their activities will impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
environment
and unsustainable sources
such
as fuel.
This
triggers to use of these sources at an alarming rate without thinking about the next generation. The
government
need to implement powerful strategies to tackle
this
problem. If Authorities hold useful workshops , either in schools or public areas about how to protect the Earth and what are the results of paying less attention to it in the future, the public will be more aware of
this
subject and try to alter their harmful activities as soon as possible.
Furthermore
, the
government
can impact
society
by designing some efficient programs on social media to impact directly on adolescents. All of being said, undoubtedly, environmental issues are highly crucial.
Although
certain people seem to not care about them
due to
lack of training, the
government
have to find measures to remedy
this
situation
such
as holding training workshops in schools or public places about the Earth and
also
, planning effective programs on social media to affect youngsters.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents relevant ideas, but more specific examples would strengthen your arguments. Try to include concrete instances and data where relevant.
task achievement
Some parts of your essay lack clear and comprehensive ideas. Ensure that each point you make is clearly explained and supported with examples or evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's logical flow can be improved. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the preceding one and clearly connects to the main thesis.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good introduction and conclusion, but the logical connections between some points within the paragraphs could be clearer. Work on making smoother transitions between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task achievement
The essay responds to the task completely by addressing both why people do not take responsibility and suggesting solutions.
task achievement
You introduce relevant points about governmental roles and the importance of training, which are strong ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: