IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A lot of people have become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives. Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages? Describe the positive and negative impacts of technology on our lives and give your opinion.

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It can be seen that
technology
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a vital role in every sector,
for
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of
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 the development of
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
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. It
become
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becomes
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 necessary by involving in our daily routine. I strongly agree that
technology
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than disadvantages. Here, On one side, I would like to discuss some positive impacts
in
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on
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 human life. With the help of
technology
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, we are able to buy anything online without going anywhere. In past, we
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 to wait several hours for the bus if, we want to
tavel
Correct your spelling
travel
another
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to another
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 city or within the city. Now, by
Use synonyms
technology
Add a comma
technology,
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 all the transports
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 compiled on one page(application) . Through
this
Linking Words
, you can have all the information
on
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in
show examples
 one click.
For instance
Linking Words
, a report on
Correct article usage
the tranport
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tranport
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transport
 system published in
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a megazine
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megazine
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magazines
magazine
 which
state
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states
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 that from 2010 onward more
peoples
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people
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 preferred to book seats online .
Secondly
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,
technology
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 greatly
impact
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impacts
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 on education system nowadays. Students prefer to study online
instead
Linking Words
 of physical books. If
,
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apply
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they
finds
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find
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 any difficulty in understanding the concepts or lack
in
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of
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informations
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information
pieces of information
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,these problems can be overcome by online lectures.
For example
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,
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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 nowadays become more famous among youngsters. Number of users increasing day by day because individual finds it informative and very convenient. On the other side, positive effects come with few negative effects.
Due to
Linking Words
 overuse of
Use synonyms
technology
Add a comma
technology,
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 people waste more time on
unnecesary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 things. Prolong use of computer
technology
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 leads to
effect
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effects
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 on health like
eyes
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eye
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 pain,
headache
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headaches
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 etc. In my opinion,
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 has more
pro
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pros
show examples
,s than
cones
Correct your spelling
cons
show examples
. It is proved in
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 paragraph .

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides both positive and negative impacts of technology. However, it's recommended to further elaborate on your points and ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Connecting ideas between paragraphs smoothly can enhance flow and readability. For instance, add transitional phrases to guide the readers through your arguments.
general
Ensure to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and to avoid simple spelling mistakes. Correct small inaccuracies, such as 'technology play' to 'technology plays' and 'it is proved' to 'it has been proven'.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the issue, discussing positive and negative impacts of technology.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples to support your points, such as the anecdote about online bus bookings and YouTube's role in education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dependent on technology
  • digital platforms
  • instant communication
  • automation
  • advanced software solutions
  • access to information
  • educational resources
  • screen time
  • health issues
  • eye strain
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • privacy concerns
  • cybersecurity threats
  • identity theft
  • data breaches
  • overreliance
  • face-to-face social interactions
  • social skills
  • isolation
What to do next:
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