Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that
children
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should start formal
education
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at a very young
age
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,
while
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others argue that it is better to wait until they are at least seven
years
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old. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I believe it is more beneficial for
children
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to begin
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formal
education
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at a younger
age
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. On the one hand, it is more useful when
children
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start formal
education
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at a very young
age
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. Early
education
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lead
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leads
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
them to develop various skills. If
children
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start formal
education
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at a younger
age
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, they can learn social skills
such
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as cooperation and communication. These skills are crucial for their development and their ability to work well in
group
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a group
the group
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.
Therefore
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,
children
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shoul
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should
start formal
education
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at a very young
age
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.
On the other hand
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,
children
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should begin formal
education
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at least 7
years
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old. By the
age
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of 7, they have developed cognitive abilities to understand and
learning
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learn
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subjects. Most
of
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apply
show examples
children
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are mature to formal
education
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when they are at least 7
years
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old. If
children
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begin formal
education
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at least 7
years
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old, they
completely
Add a missing verb
are completely
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ready for formal
education
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and they don't suffer to understand and
learning
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learn
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subjects.
Therefore
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, it is better
to begin
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formal
education
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at least 7
years
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old. In conclusion, there are several significant reasons why
children
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should start formal
education
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at a very young
age
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. Starting formal
education
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at a very young
age
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provides many advantages.
However
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, it is
also
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better to start formal
education
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at least 7
years
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old.
Children
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are more mature
to
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in
show examples
education
Use synonyms
when they are at least 7
years
Use synonyms
old.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one with smooth transitions. Using linking phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'However,' can help.
task achievement
Your main points would benefit from more specific examples or evidence. For instance, you could mention studies or real-world examples of early childhood education benefits.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are slightly repetitive. Try to vary your sentence structure and vocabulary to engage the reader more effectively.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a good framework for the essay.
complete response
You have clearly discussed both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have provided clear, comprehensive ideas for why children might benefit from starting formal education at both a young and older age.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social development
  • structured learning environments
  • essential skills
  • reading, writing, and arithmetic
  • social norms
  • undue stress and pressure
  • natural curiosity and creativity
  • unstructured play
  • emotional and psychological development
  • mature
  • rigors of formal education
  • natural developmental timeline
  • life skills
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • informal learning
  • structured educational system
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