Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that
children
should start formal
education
at a very young
age
,
while
others argue that it is better to wait until they are at least seven
years
old. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I believe it is more beneficial for
children
to begin
formal
education
at a younger
age
. On the one hand, it is more useful when
children
start formal
education
at a very young
age
. Early
education
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them to develop various skills. If
children
start formal
education
at a younger
age
, they can learn social skills
such
as cooperation and communication. These skills are crucial for their development and their ability to work well in
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
.
Therefore
,
children
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
start formal
education
at a very young
age
.
On the other hand
,
children
should begin formal
education
at least 7
years
old. By the
age
of 7, they have developed cognitive abilities to understand and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
subjects. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
are mature to formal
education
when they are at least 7
years
old. If
children
begin formal
education
at least 7
years
old, they
completely
Add a missing verb
are completely
show examples
ready for formal
education
and they don't suffer to understand and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
subjects.
Therefore
, it is better
to begin
formal
education
at least 7
years
old. In conclusion, there are several significant reasons why
children
should start formal
education
at a very young
age
. Starting formal
education
at a very young
age
provides many advantages.
However
, it is
also
better to start formal
education
at least 7
years
old.
Children
are more mature
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
education
when they are at least 7
years
old.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one with smooth transitions. Using linking phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'However,' can help.
task achievement
Your main points would benefit from more specific examples or evidence. For instance, you could mention studies or real-world examples of early childhood education benefits.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are slightly repetitive. Try to vary your sentence structure and vocabulary to engage the reader more effectively.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a good framework for the essay.
complete response
You have clearly discussed both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have provided clear, comprehensive ideas for why children might benefit from starting formal education at both a young and older age.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social development
  • structured learning environments
  • essential skills
  • reading, writing, and arithmetic
  • social norms
  • undue stress and pressure
  • natural curiosity and creativity
  • unstructured play
  • emotional and psychological development
  • mature
  • rigors of formal education
  • natural developmental timeline
  • life skills
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • informal learning
  • structured educational system
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