Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this a positive or negative development?
Although
competitions are improving day
by day
while
it has a positive side so it is a chance to adapt to Correct word choice
apply
competitive
atmosphere down the road Correct article usage
a competitive
hovewer
Correct your spelling
but
this
trend can have a negative impact on people
who have never been in the
competitive environment.
Like Correct article usage
a
that
competitions Correct determiner usage
apply
effect
badly to Correct your spelling
affect
students
brain Change noun form
students'
student's
wave
. Because of they think in that examination more and more Fix the agreement mistake
waves
people
attend. So people
's opinion we can not enter the
university. İt is worst for Correct article usage
apply
moods
of students. Afterwards, that thing increases Correct article usage
the moods
people
's fears every day
. For instance
: as that
student Correct determiner usage
apply
lost
of own and their interests decrease Wrong verb form
lose
day
by day
. They should changing
Change the verb form
change
be changing
the
mindset and they should Change the word
their
lost
fear. They Change the verb form
lose
be lost
are have
cons sides of competition for Change the verb form
have
people
and development.
Similarly
, some teenagers who try to enrol in universities will do badly in university exams, they will lose motivation and like
Correct word choice
apply
that's
. Unnecessary verb
that
In other words
, people
have goals, which should not be temporary, thus
, any kinds
of difficulties may hinder their ability to reach their great position since competition can not positively affect Fix the agreement mistake
kind
to
society. Change preposition
apply
Such
as, in the UK, students who have never been in competitive areas may face to
face some difficulties, which may lead them to lose their targets.
In conclusion, including the negative sides that Change preposition
apply
this
essay elaborated on,it can be badly influence
Change the verb form
be badly influenced
be badly influencing
for
Change preposition
by
people
by avoiding their aims, so I consider it equally vital for the public.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly. Make sure each paragraph has a single main idea that is expanded upon. For example, dedicate one paragraph to explaining the positive aspects of competition and another to describing its negative aspects.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Real-life examples or statistics can help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of competition for university admissions, making an attempt at a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main points of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.