Some people believe that companies should hire young people. Others say that older experienced staff should be hired. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

A large group of individuals consider that younger staff should be hired,
whereas
others believe that older people are more suitable
due to
their experience. I strongly believe that a balanced approach is the most effective strategy in the hiring process. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, young employees have better skills in dealing with modern technologies, which is a very important feature for
workers
in all areas around the world. Mankind observes many changes in various sectors, especially in the business environment. Younger
workers
cope with these changes better as they are more adaptable compared to older
workers
. Recent studies from Cambridge University show that 78.7% of people in the age group of 18-35 do not face major problems in adapting to different situations and environments.
On the other hand
, older employees have much more experience and
thus
possess different skills that young employees are unlikely to have until they gain more experience.
Moreover
, older
workers
have better theoretical and practical knowledge, which
consequently
gives them greater proficiency.
For instance
, statistics show that 7 out of 10 local businesses prefer to send their older
workers
to important meetings and events rather than younger ones
due to
their knowledge and worldview. In conclusion, I think that companies should hire
workers
from both generations.
Although
their skills and abilities may differ, each generation has characteristics that are suitable for various positions.
Furthermore
, they can learn from each other, which will positively impact both their personal development and the company's performance, as businesses need a diverse range of talents. ---
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Consider adding more detailed examples or specific evidence to further strengthen your argument. While the examples provided are relevant, additional detail can enhance the richness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, work on varying your sentences structure. This will enhance the readability and engage the reader more effectively. Although the essay is already quite clear, this variation can take it to the next level.
content
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both perspectives before offering a well-reasoned opinion. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt.
task achievement
The use of specific data, such as statistics from Cambridge University, adds credibility and relevance to the arguments made. It showcases a good use of evidence to support main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear framework that holds the essay together nicely. The logical structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adaptability
  • Technological proficiency
  • Longevity
  • Turnover
  • Cost-effective
  • Fresh perspectives
  • Innovative approaches
  • Experience
  • Expertise
  • Refined skill sets
  • Mentoring
  • Quality and professionalism
  • Track record
  • Reliability
  • Informed decisions
  • Customer relations
  • Trust
  • Reputation
  • Seasoned professionals
  • Diverse team
  • Dynamic work environment
  • Balanced
  • Teamwork
  • Productivity
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