Despite a large of number of gym, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining populer in the contemporary world, what problems are associated with this? What the solution can you suggest?
There is
widely
Correct article usage
a widely
help
perception in Correct your spelling
held
many
Correct your spelling
any
part
of the world today that comparing a large Change to a plural noun
parts
of
gym with Change preposition
apply
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
lifestyle
. In this
following essay. I am to identify the sorces
of Correct your spelling
sources
source
this
problem as well as
some valuable solution
to it
From my Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
persfet
, one of the most significant obstacles to Correct your spelling
perspective
people
with sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
lifestyle
is abysmal working condition
, where many Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
people
working for
Wrong verb form
work
over time
and Correct your spelling
overtime
full
Add a missing verb
are full
off
anxiety. Replace the word
of
Besides
, it dreans
their stamina, and Correct your spelling
drains
as a consequence
, those people
needs
to take rest for sufficient time. Change the verb form
need
Additionally
, depedency
on technology has Correct your spelling
dependency
deterioted
the condition, Correct your spelling
deteriorated
due to
technology
advancement, many Replace the word
technological
people
spend their aviable
time Correct your spelling
available
for
browsing Change preposition
apply
internet
, watching TV, and checking their Correct article usage
the internet
account
on social media, Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
this
habit has negative
impact Add an article
a negative
for
their health.
To Change preposition
on
addres
Correct your spelling
address
this
problem, those people
should to aware about
their health. To remain fit, those Change preposition
of
people
have to stop leading sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
lifestyle
and start to
moving. To get relax and unwind after a long day, those Change preposition
apply
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
trying
out with outdoor activities. Change the verb form
to try
For instance
are
going to the gym or jogging, these Unnecessary verb
apply
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
helpful
to stay fit and active. Another solution is Replace the word
help
going
indoor activities, those Correct your spelling
doing
people
can stop open
the Verb problem
apply
intertanf
change by books, when Correct your spelling
internet
se
know our brain needs to consume good nutrition, and reading books is really Correct your spelling
they
benefical
to increasing insight.
In Correct your spelling
beneficial
conlusion
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
stop
Wrong verb form
stopping
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
lifestyle
is extremely crucial, and going to the gym is excellent
solution. Add an article
an excellent
Therefore
, the government should to aviable
outdoor facilities Correct your spelling
available
and
those Correct word choice
so
people
can start to do some workout
.Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on
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grammar
Work on structuring sentences correctly to enhance clarity. Grammar, word choice, and syntax are areas where improvement is needed.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that logical transitions are used between paragraphs. This will help in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
evidence support
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This will help in achieving a more comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The essay addresses the core issue of sedentary lifestyles and suggests solutions to mitigate this problem.
summarization
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and reinforces the solutions presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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