Some people think that sports are important for personal development, while others believe that they are just a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
People
often hold varied views about sport's impact on an individual's holistic development both in its favour and opposition. In my opinion, games
play a vital role in the growth of people
as it helps to maintain the body and one can build a career as well in this
field.
On the one hand, proponents claim that playing sports
are
Change the verb form
is
necessory
for Correct your spelling
necessary
people
. As the
Change preposition
The
people
who do not exercise or play any physical games
Add a comma
games,
they
tend to Correct pronoun usage
apply
more
vulnerable to illnesses. Add a missing verb
be more
Besides
that, there are many sports
events held in almost every city to aware the public for playing games
. There should be no age limit as well. Additionally
, an
official players who Correct article usage
apply
plays
national Change the verb form
play
sports
they
are Correct pronoun usage
apply
finanicial stablize
as Correct your spelling
financially stable
World level
Correct your spelling
world-level
competition
like Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
Olymics
can change the Correct your spelling
Olympics
players
Change to a genitive case
player's
players'
life
and open various opportunities for them to grow.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
On the other hand
, as per
opponents assert that playing Change preposition
apply
games
are
only Correct subject-verb agreement
is
spare
time Correct article usage
a spare
activities
. In Fix the agreement mistake
activity
this
contemporary era, due to
their hectic schedules, people
have no time to get involved in such
games
as it requires lot
of time Add an article
a lot
invenstment
. Correct your spelling
investment
Furthermore
, due to
the lack of awareness among Change preposition
apply
people
about the
Correct article usage
apply
sports
are
the main Correct subject-verb agreement
is
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
of
losing their interest in Change preposition
in
such
games
.
I believe that,
there should be Remove the comma
apply
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
extra curricular activities
an extra curricular activity
extra curricular
activities in the schools to explain Correct your spelling
extracurricular
the
children about Change preposition
to the
games
and encourage them to relax their mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
while
playing. At the adult stage, there should be genre
Correct article usage
a genre
sports
centre to evolve public in
activities.
Change preposition
apply
To sum up
, Playing sports
can be proven commendable if the
physical education Correct article usage
apply
should be
provided from Wrong verb form
is
the
early child of Correct article usage
apply
people
.Submitted by rk366704 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that supporting sentences directly relate to that topic sentence. Use more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by providing more detailed explanations and relevant examples to support your main points. Ensure each argument is fully developed and clearly connected to the essay prompt.
task achievement
The essay makes a genuine effort to discuss both views on the topic, which fulfills the basic requirement of the task.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion are present, giving the essay a clear structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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