The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
The line graph illustrates the amount of Tourist Information
Office
in one city was received enquiries Fix the agreement mistake
Offices
by
3 Change preposition
in
differents
Correct your spelling
different
way
during six Fix the agreement mistake
ways
month
.
Change to a plural noun
months
It is clear that
the number
of enquiries by telephone
and in person
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
a
upward Change the article
an
tends
. Correct your spelling
trends
While
,
the Remove the comma
apply
number
of people
who enquries
by letter or e-mail was Correct your spelling
enquiries
an
decrease.
Change the article
a
On
the first month, the Change preposition
In
number
of people
who contect
Correct your spelling
contact
by
Correct pronoun usage
us by
telephone
was highest
around 900 Correct article usage
the highest
people
. While
,
approximately over 400 Remove the comma
apply
people
choose enquiries direct
in Replace the word
directly
person
. Moreover
, both of
Change preposition
apply
person
Replace the word
personal
contect
and Correct your spelling
contact
telephone
were
significantly increased after the third month. The Unnecessary verb
apply
number
of person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
contect
directedCorrect your spelling
contact
content
dramatic
rose to around 1900 Replace the word
drama
people
highter
than Correct your spelling
higher
enquirise
by Correct your spelling
enquiries
telephone
in
the end of the period.
Change the preposition
at
In contrast
with
, the figure of Change preposition
apply
people
who enquirise
by letter or Correct your spelling
enquiries
e-mial
Correct your spelling
e-mail
was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
just
under 800 Change preposition
at just
people
during
January to March. Before gradually decrease to around 300 Change preposition
from
people
on May and stable thoughout
the period.Correct your spelling
throughout
Submitted by jeebjib14 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, telephone, person, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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