Some people argree with spending lots of money on a large wedding while other think it is waste of money what is your opinion
Spending a huge amount of money on marriage celebrations has become a trend among rich
people
whereas
some individuals believe that it is not worthwhile. I agree with opponents due to
various factors which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with relevant explanations and examples in brief.
To begin
with, favourable respondents assume that a large function can create long-lasting memories with the couple and their guests because this
event comes once in a life
. Replace the word
lifetime
Thus
, to make it an unforgettable moment, they organize the biggest places, order a variety of food, distribute expensive gifts, and invite friends as much as they can. Secondly
, big-budget events are usually connected with culture, traditions, norms, and values which helps to spread tradition on a high level. As a result
, this
trend creates curiosity among people
so, they follow the same method in their ceremonies.
On the flip side, grand occasions often generate significant waste which could be a concern for the environment. Like, a considerable amount of food waste and plastic utensils are discarded. Also
, loud music become a serious issue for noise pollution. Furthermore
, for people
who spend extra money to organize such
weddings, this
wealth could be used to start a business, purchase a home or help poor inhabitants. These investments can give them actual happiness.
Moreover
, people
should focus on close relationships rather than more people
. By doing this
, they can attend personally and talk to them whereas
huge gatherings may cause depression and stress because , in a rush, they are not able to connect. In addition
, some people
get loans to make their functions better and sometimes, they are unsuccessful in returning money and then
take wrong steps like suicide and falling into depression.
To conclude
, no doubt, it is a good way to make memorable weddings but they should consider other effects that may ruin their life. So, they should celebrate short and eco-friendly occasions.Submitted by harmandeep51075 on
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task response
Your essay addresses the topic effectively and includes a clear stance. However, the introduction can be made stronger by avoiding phrases like 'in the upcoming paragraphs,' which can sound formulaic. Instead, try to entice the reader with a more engaging introduction.
task response
While your ideas are clear and logically structured, there are minor errors in grammar and some areas could benefit from a stronger vocabulary. Examples are relevant but could include more detail to fully support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesion is good, but try to use a wider range of cohesive devices for a smoother flow. Transition words like 'moreover' and 'furthermore' are useful but could be varied more.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well, but consider rephrasing to avoid repetition and to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task response
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for good structure.
task response
Your arguments are relevant and cover both sides of the topic, contributing to a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow and logically organized, making it reader-friendly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example