At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Currently, statistics show there are a few countries with more adolescent populations than elders. Meanwhile, There are several
disadvantages
to young populations, but I think the advantages are greater than the disadvantages
.
I am of the opinion that having a young population has some advantages like transforming the industry into an innovative and efficient place. For instance
, there are varied startup trends that are growing in the industry chain
which include Inquisitiv juveniles. innovative young people in a country can lead to a productive supply chain
. This
chain
can contrast in a higher quantity of goods and services, fewer costs of goods, and implementation of new ideas and strategies. These are the factors that can increase the GDP and economic index in a country.
On the other hand
, there are a few disadvantages
with young adults, like less experience and great chances of errors that make a system fail. When an individual has less job-related experience there are additional costs for teaching them. Also
, their mistakes in manufacturing a product can’t be dismissed. For example
, this
can be seen in a country like Iran with a large amount of old population and immigrating their younger labourers to other continents. Their economy is inefficient, their products are full of errors and problems that affect their quality. Furthermore
, they are one of the low-income, GDP countries.
in conclusion, Although
there are some negative points in young age society, i
strongly agree that the constructive effects are higher than Change the capitalization
I
negative
ones, Correct article usage
the negative
such
as an efficient, innovative supply chain
and few costs of goods and labour that can overcome the disadvantages
.Submitted by neginsepahvand on
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task achievement
Your essay discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of having a young population and takes a clear stance. However, a more detailed exploration of both sides would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Your example about Iran was not very clear and could be elaborated further. Mention concrete startups or young firm successes where necessary.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, work on providing clearer transitions between and within paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your ideas and make your essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph has a clear topic sentence that intuitively connects to your overall argument. This helps in maintaining the flow and making your logic clear to the reader.
language
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'Inquisitiv' instead of 'inquisitive' and 'varied' instead of 'various.' Also, remember to capitalize 'i' to 'I' in the last sentence.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You provide a clear argument and stance, that advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages.
task response
You included relevant points about innovation and efficiency brought by young populations, which strengthens your argument.