The involvement of youth in crime is increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are reasons for this, and what are the effects?
In recent times, juvenile crime rates have surged in many cities around the globe. Various factors contribute to
this
phenomenon, including the excessive consumption of inappropriate online content and the increased circulation of drugs and other illegal substances. With appropriate measures from the government
and emotional support systems from parents, these hikes can be reduced efficiently.
Firstly
, in today’s digital age, teenagers have nearly unlimited access to online content. They can be manipulated by anyone from anywhere through social media and other platforms. In addition
, to earn more money, many IT companies launch several inappropriate video games and gambling games online where players must invest money prior to playing. By involving themselves in these websites
, they become addicted and start investing their monthly allowances in these games. When they deplete their bank accounts and realize their mistakes, instead
of seeking help from their parents, they turn to the wrong people, leading them to engage in other illegal activities
. For example
, the Economic Times conducted a survey and reported that youth involved in gambling apps are 72% more prone to hacking other people’s bank accounts for money, leading to online theft.
Another factor contributing to the increase in crime rates is drug consumption and drug dealing, both of which have serious repercussions. Ingesting drugs can alter one’s behavior
, leading to poor judgment and criminal Change the spelling
behaviour
activities
, while
dealing drugs can put youth under police scrutiny and result in imprisonment.
To eradicate these issues, the government
should ban gambling and other websites
that can lead young minds down a dark path. For instance
, in India, the government
has banned lottery and gambling websites
, reducing online frauds
by 67%. Fix the agreement mistake
fraud
Furthermore
, parents should create a cohesive environment at home where children are not judged and should engage in conversations to understand their needs and daily activities
. They should also
monitor their children’s internet use to keep them from dangerous situations.
Overall
, I believe the government
should not permit any dark or gambling websites
to penetrate society. Additionally
, families should provide unconditional support to their children and keep a constant eye on their online activities
. This
way, crime can be kept at bay.Submitted by u.umayal92 on
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task achievement
While the essay effectively describes the reasons for the increase in youth crime and its consequences, the recommendation section could be expanded to present more detailed solutions or preventative measures.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow. For instance, begin the third paragraph with a transition phrase to better connect ideas on drug consumption and dealing to the previous discussion about the internet.
task achievement
Although the essay provides relevant examples, incorporating a wider range of sources or case studies could further substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the Economic Times survey, effectively support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and provides clear recommendations.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example