Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#athletes #medals #olympics #governments #money #programmes

this

day and age, people have different views on how governments should invest in terms of sports. There are some good arguments in favour of the view that they should pay more attention to public health

instead

of investing in professional

athletes

, and I personally agree with

this

notion. On the one hand, there are two primary reasons why training

athletes

for medals is important for a nation.

Firstly

, a winning medal could serve as a means to build the reputation of a country and unite its people.

For instance

, in Argentina, there is a prestigious football player named Messi who has positively influenced not only domestically but

also

internationally.

In addition

athletes

after winning a medal always come with a noticeable amount of money.

This

allows the national economy to be improved thanks to their taxes paid after winning.

On the other hand

, apart from the practical reasons expressed above, I maintain that governments should prioritize creating more programmes to urge their citizens to stay more active.

Firstly

, encouraging individuals to do more exercise helps increase their life span.

This

enables a nation to have more human resources, which solves the problem regarding the lack of employees.

Secondly

, healthy individuals can reduce the heavy workload of hospitals, which motivates authorities around the world to come up with suitable initiatives.

For instance

, in America, the government implements a policy that for each hundred meters that a resident

walk

Correct subject-verb agreement

walks

show examples

, they would earn a hundred dollars. In conclusion,

while

there are certain reasons why investing in professional

athletes

could bring substantial benefits to a country as a whole, it seems to me that spending money to help inhabitants stay active is more important.

Submitted by lahuyquan123 on Thu Sep 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is great. Consider strengthening the connection between some of your ideas for a smoother flow and coherence.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are strong, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain reader engagement.

task achievement

Examples provided are relevant but could be more specific or detailed to illustrate your points more effectively. Try to elaborate more on how national pride directly impacts ordinary citizens.

task achievement

Make sure your ideas are fully explored in each paragraph. Some arguments could benefit from further development or supporting information.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion, making your essay easy to follow. They clearly indicate your stance and summarize your points compellingly.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, demonstrating logical structure.

task achievement

You've employed relevant and specific examples which add value to your arguments. This helps clarify your points to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

reallocate
mass health improvement
national health issues
foster a sense of community
boost morale
lifestyle
public health programs
government’s commitment
national pride
Olympic success
physical activity
discovery of new talents
elite athletes
balanced approach
physical and mental health benefits
inspiring national pride
unity
elite sports
innovation
sports science and technology

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Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many working people get little or not exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There have been many inventions in the human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.

Individual can do nothing to improve the environment; only government and large companies can make a difference. To what extend do you agree or disagree?