You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation.

#country #year #place #agency #accommodation

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to get some details about accommodation in Sydney that your agency can arrange for me. I have been accepted at Macquarie University in a research-based Master's degree programme, and I will start my classes next June. I will stay there for one year and my wife will accompany me during my stay there.

Therefore

, I need a separate accommodation, not the one the university has offered me in its residence hall. I am looking for a studio apartment that will not cost me more than $1500 per month and is located within

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

walking distance of the university. It would be ideal if the apartment comes with a fully equipped kitchen and fully furnished rooms with windows that allow natural light and fresh air. It would be a bonus if we

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

access shopping malls, markets, a park and other public amenities without travelling a long distance. I will fly to Sydney on 29th May and would highly appreciate it if you

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

send me details of several accommodations - the kind I am looking for, within the budget. I am hoping to hear from you soon regarding

this

. Yours faithfully, Avinash Kumar

Submitted by jeeanay on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear and distinct idea or request, enhancing the single idea per paragraph score.

coherence cohesion

While the overall structure is logical, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother by using linking words or phrases to better connect the paragraphs.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompts effectively, but could enhance the letter by providing more specific information or personalising the request further.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

200 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation.

Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibility while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The government should control the amount of violence in films and televisions in order to decrease violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish