Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The concept of competition and
cooperation
has long been a topic of debate, with the proponents on both sides arguing for the benefits of each approach. Some people believe that competition fuels progress and personal development, whereas
advocates of cooperation
emphasize the power of collaboration in achieving collective success.
Competitiveness, in particular
, plays a pivotal role in personal perspectives. Firstly
, it serves as a source of motivation, inspiring individuals to work harder in their pursuits, pushing them to perform at their best, and ultimately leading them to enhanced productivity and performance. Secondly
, people learn valuable lessons about their strengths and weaknesses which contributes to characteristic growth in their personality. Lastly
, it is essential to outperform others under specific circumstances, for example
, students competing for limited spots in top-ranked universities throughout the world such
as Oxford University.
On the other hand
, cooperation
is the key element of success in various aspects of our lives. Sharing the same goal with other members of a society whether peers or colleagues promotes a sense of belonging as participation makes them feel included. However
, collaborating with others in a cooperative environment stimulates exchanges of a wide range of opinions which promotes creativity, innovation and problem-solving skills. In addition
, collaboration provides opportunities for everyone to build connections and expand their professional networks. For instance
, in a football team, players mentally and physically support each other in order to win the match.
In conclusion, both competition and cooperation
can be advantageous in different contexts. In my own opinion, finding a balance between the two and applying them appropriately can lead to optimal personal and professional growth.Submitted by mwoodman2 on
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task achievement
You've done an excellent job of presenting both perspectives on competition and cooperation. To improve further, you might elaborate more on your examples to make them more specific and impactful.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear, make sure every paragraph seamlessly transitions to the next. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
language
Double-check for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in some parts of the essay to ensure clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your essay are well-supported and logically organized.
task achievement
You have responded fully to the prompt and provided a balanced view, ensuring comprehensive coverage of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?