Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some parents believe that it is best to oblige their
children
to compete in different aspects of their life such
as education and social life, while
others work
harder to raise collaborative pupils with a higher sense of group work
.Both perspectives have their own fans, nevertheless
, in my opinion
moderation is the key, and both views Add the comma(s)
opinion,
has
their own place.
On the one hand, supporters of the first idea argue that in competitions, Change the verb form
have
children
will be prepared for real-life situations. For example
, in Iran, there is a high-level competition for entering the top-ranked universities, and a small number of students can be accepted there. Furthermore
, if the persons work
in a competitive environment, the work
efficiency will be increased considerably. Likewise
almost all individual sports need fighter personalities in order to win a match , Add a comma
Likewise,
such
as swimming and solo tennis matches. As a last
point, this
atmosphere encourages the persons to expand their comfort zone. Due to
the fact that individuals avoid the predictable occasions to improve their abilities by experiencing the different challenges.
On the other hand
,opponents point out that if the members of a group cooperate together, most of the issues will be resolved briskly, this
is distinctly because the members acclimatized to spend more time deliberating on issues, which means there are fewer chances for errors. Moreover
, when children
participate in teams, develop their competencies via peer learning. That is
, throughout the projects, they observe how their friends face various problems, and tackle them through problem-solving, planning, and other skills. Lastly
, routine life will be more enjoyable for family members. For example
, my friend’s parents have been sharing their ideas, and planning together for recreational activities of children
.
In conclusion, I feel that both characters either to join solo or group works
must be empowered from school years . Fix the agreement mistake
work
However
, some people might counter the challenges, it provides opportunities for improvement and success in future.Submitted by dr.nargesamin on
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task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement in the introduction clearly outlines your opinion and the structure of your essay. This can help you stay on track and make your points clearer to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow better and enhance readability.
task achievement
Support your points with a wider variety of specific examples to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
You addressed both views of the topic, which shows a good understanding and response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your points.