IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#people #choices
These days, it is believed that we have lots of methods to approach.
However
, there are many options to choose from in different aspects of life, and some of them are not selectable. So, I partly agree with
this
 statement, and in
this
 essay, I am going to give reasons behind
this
 and provide some examples of my own life to cover it.
To begin
, it is inevitable to choose our own family. When I was born, I did not have the opportunity to select my own family and relatives. I could have been born in anyone and anywhere.
Also
, nowadays the majority of applicants are under financial strain.
Therefore
, in order to pay their bills, and debts, and make ends meet, they need to accept any jobs once they have been offered or have applied.
As a result
, it is legitimate to agree upon
this
 that many choices can not be made.
However
, it is undeniable that we frequently have the opportunity to make our own decisions to make things for the better, especially, when it comes to making choices about our own lifestyle, education and career path. There are many selective procedures in front of us.
For instance
, To be financially rich and have an excellent command of a particular subject, in some respects, I had the opportunity to set goals about the university that I would like to study at when I was a student.
This
 positive attitude that I approached and the option to be applied by one of the best universities in my country, brightened my career prospects.
In addition
 to
this
,
although
 I had financial issues, I was able to choose my career path by working more hours after graduation and
then
, applied for another occupation that offered generous benefits and I could rise through the ranks to earn more income.
To sum up
,
however
, we are not able to make decisions about several matters, like our own family, or many difficult circumstances, these days we have the chance to make things for the better and choose suitable ways of life to maintain a better work-life balance. It is legitimate to have the support of the governments to provide facilities and better conditions,
such
 as imposing policies to increase welfare rate, happiness and financial aid to widen the selective means for the public to live better.
Submitted by bb_emperator on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a clear argument. However, ensure that you develop each point fully to support your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the coherence of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Consider using more transition words to improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points further. Concrete examples will give more weight to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay, presenting your stance effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured, with distinct paragraphs that address specific aspects of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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