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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think young people are more influenced by their friends than their teachers or family. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #friends #teachers
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The importance of sharing and approaching friends by the young generation rather than seeking advice from their family or teachers which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
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 others reject
this
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 notion. The substantial influence of
this
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 trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the above-stated proposition is completely agreeable.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate my viewpoints,
along with
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 a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind
this
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 is that the young generation spends maximum time with friends because of school, college or other activities. Another striking reason in
this
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 regard is that youngsters resort to their mates because of the comfort level they share as there is no generation gap.
Moreover
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,
this
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 gap is significant between young ones and their parents
as well as
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 teachers. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that
although
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 family and teachers are well-wishers but feeling of being misunderstood and judged drives the young people away from them in case of difficult situation. Moving
further
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, it is pertinent to mention that owing to busy routines and hectic lifestyles, communication is falling drastically,
due to
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 which youngsters prefer to confine to their companions. To recapitulate,
according to
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 the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that
due to
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 the above-stated reasons, young ones feel more comfortable discussing their secrets with their friends. To keep them away from bad company, parents should be equally friendly in case of difficult situations.
Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear position throughout, with a precise opinion stated in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. Generic statements should be substantiated with precise instances or data where possible.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays coherence and cohesion but could benefit from a more varied use of linking words and phrases to help with the logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider a conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also adds a final thought or recommendation based on the argument presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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