In the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop.Do you agree or disagree?

rely agree that in the future the main reason for going to the shopping
mall
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will be for
entertainment
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not to shop because the development of shopping online makes the development of shopping
malls
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decrease.
However
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, shopping
malls
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can develop in other fields like
entertainment
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,restaurant that make shopping always exist in modern society There are many disadvantages when you shopping at a
mall
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.Sometimes you can’t find an item you need at the shopping
mall
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and you need to find it in an online shop.You need to go to the shopping
mall
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to buy an item but with shopping online you don’t need to do that you can buy it any time you want.In fact, shopping online always has a better price than in shopping
malls
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sometimes on a special day like Christmas or New Year there is a big discount for some items.All of the disadvantages can make a shopping
mall
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bankrupt, which is why shopping
malls
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need a transform shopping
mall
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are not crucial they focus on
entertainment
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much more than selling items.
Entertainment
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is necessary for everyone so the shopping
mall
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has developed more
entertainment
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facilities.They have cinemas,bowling alleys,restaurants…Now people can enjoy shopping at
malls
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with friends and play some games at shopping
malls
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making shopping
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more and more developed. I strongly believe that shopping
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can’t disappear because they are always following trends and they know how to make the shopping
mall
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always attract people.There will always be a place for shopping
malls
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although
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shopping online increasingly developed

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task achievement
You have addressed the topic and presented a clear opinion, but elaborating more on your main points with additional specifics and real-life examples will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical flow, some parts need clearer transitions between ideas. Using connective words and phrases will help improve coherence and make your essay smoother.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and you effectively develop this idea with supporting details. Consistency in structure will improve overall coherence.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear viewpoint and structured your essay into paragraphs, which is great.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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