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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Technology has made our lives easier, especially for education. What is your opinion?Give your views with proper explaination.

#technology #lives #education #explaination
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The issue of using
technology
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 has sparked considerable debate in recent times. Some
people
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 contend that
technology
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 has simplified our lives, particularly in terms of education. In my point of view, I partly agree with the perspective given.
This
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 essay will discuss some reasons in support of my view. On the one hand, there are some arguments in favour of the idea that
technology
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 has made our lives easier, especially for education.
To begin
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 with,
technology
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 has made education more accessible to
people
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 in remote areas. Online courses and digital resources allow
students
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 to learn from anywhere with an internet connection.
Furthermore
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,
technology
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 can help
students
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 connect to
people
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 from all around the world.
For example
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, platforms like Google Classroom or Microsoft Teams allow
students
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 to collaborate with peers from different countries on projects, discussions, and presentations.
As a result
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, they can share ideas, learn from the cultural perspectives of others, and develop intercultural communication skills.
On the other hand
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, there are several arguments against the statement that
technology
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 has revolutionized the way we learn.
Initially
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, one main argument would be that not everyone has access to
technology
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 or the skills to use it effectively.
For instance
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, families living in poverty may not be able to afford devices or internet subscriptions.
Consequently
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,
this
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 can create a significant barrier to educational opportunities. Another argument would be that
technology
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 can be a source of distractions for
students
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. To illustrate, social media, games, and other online activities can interfere with learning. All in all, the facts mentioned above created a dilemma when
people
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 evaluate the effects of
this
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 issue, and it has still sparked controversy in recent years. I personally believe that it could have both sides,
people
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 should have
further
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 consideration on
this
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 issue.
Submitted by mgnm140307 on

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task response
Ensure that your points are fully developed and clearly connected to the main argument. For instance, you can expand more on how technology creates opportunities for students in remote areas by providing specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is generally coherent, making clearer transitions between your points will improve your coherence. Use transitional phrases to ensure your essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next.
task response
Consider providing a more balanced counterargument by incorporating more details or examples of how lack of access to technology affects education.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task question, addressing both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, ensuring all key points are addressed.
task achievement
You supported your main points with relevant examples, like mentioning Google Classroom and Microsoft Teams as platforms facilitating global interaction in education.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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