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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. * Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some individuals believe that
competition
Use synonyms
 is a good way to progress and achieve,
while
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 another group claims that more collaboration is better than competing. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both perspectives and present my view. On the one hand, proponents of
competition
Use synonyms
 argue that it would be beneficial if people compete in their lives, especially at school and work. In school, it causes children to participate more actively in class and study harder to achieve their goals.
Similarly
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, in the workplace, it contributes innovative ideas, plays a vital role in getting a promotion and bonuses, and leads to being praised by others.
Additionally
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, in everyday life,
competition
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 brings advancements in technology because everyone wants to show the best version of their self.
On the other hand
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, supporters of cooperation confirm that
this
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 measure can improve results,
for example
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, by sharing information with colleagues, mutual assistance, and doing tasks quickly.
As a result
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, all individuals use their ability to achieve efficiency. If students encounter problems, they will use their counterparts’ knowledge to solve them.
Furthermore
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, they help each other to study better, which creates a positive atmosphere; indeed, from their standpoint, blind
competition
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 is not only not effective but
also
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 detrimental. In my opinion, over-reliance on either
competition
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 or cooperation can have drawbacks. Extreme
competition
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 can create a toxic environment, increase stress, and have negative effects. Collaboration without any
competition
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 may
also
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 lack motivation. In conclusion, being moderate in cooperation and
competition
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 is more suitable than paying attention to one side. Both are critical for having a better life in different fields.

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task achievement
Consider developing your arguments with more depth and specific examples. For instance, you could illustrate how competition has led to technological advancements with a real-world example or case study.
task achievement
Pay attention to the balance between competition and cooperation in your conclusion to emphasize your opinion more clearly. It may also help to restate how both competition and cooperation can complement each other based on the scenarios mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence. You can use transitional phrases to connect your ideas better, making it easier for the reader to follow your argumentation.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both viewpoints, and a conclusion that gives your personal opinion.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
language
The language used is generally clear and easy to understand, which helps convey your message effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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